Save Me From Myself

Chapter 5

Rose's POV

I awoke in the morning to the sound of my phone ringing, confused as I thought it had died, but I looked and found it to be plugged into the charger beside me.

"Hey Mer" I spoke softly into the phone.

"Rose! OMG Rose finally! Are you okay? Nobody has heard from you in days!" She spoke frantically.

"I know, I'm sorry Mer, I'll come to school today though, don't worry I'm fine!" I lied through my teeth into the phone.

"Okay good, I was so worried about you! I guess you can tell me all about it when you get here, will you be making it to first class?"

"What time is it?" I asked.

"10:30"

"Uh I don't think I can make it there by 11 for class Mer, but I'll definitely be there for English."

"Ok see you soon! Love you!" She kissed into the phone and I was left in silence again.

I assessed my surroundings and realized no, it was not all some dream I had yesterday. There were clear signs that Mr. Hampton, I guess Benjamin, was here. How fucking embarrassing, how the hell am I going to face him after that fiasco. I looked into my kitchen and noticed the sink was clear of dishes, the trash was taken out and all my bottles were collected from the floor. How long was he here?

I sighed and stood up deciding I could use a shower as I hadn't had one since Tuesday and it being Friday I can smell that I smell terrible.

After taking time to get myself cleaned up I dressed in some warm winter clothes and got ready to brave the cold walk to school.

I arrived to school after a cold 30 minute walk just in time to head to English, class still had 5 minutes before starting but I made my way into the door frame and locked eyes with Mr. Hampton, I didn't get a chance to read his face before Will ran up and grabbed me talking in my face.

"Rose! Where the heck have you been?! I tried texting and calling you so many times!" He said as he pulled my arm to the usual desk I sat in beside him and Mer and Ella.

"I-I" I gulped all my friends were staring at me waiting for my reply and I could see Mr. Hampton looking at me to, I guess wondering what kind of response I might give. I weighed all my options about what I should tell my friends, but I know for sure I wont be telling them I had a major depressive episode and nearly offed myself with alcohol poising. "I'm sorry I didn't text you guys back, I had lost my phone charger and it died" I lied, "I just had to deal with some family things and go home on Wednesday and I accidently drank myself into missing Thursday's classes." The lie didn't feel believable to me but I'm sure they wouldn't know any better they didn't know much about my family.

"Oh okay, I guess that makes sense, just next time get a new phone charger Rose we were worried about you!" Ella said with a kind smile.

"But? You're car is still in the lot?" Mer asked me. She knew, she knew I was lying, but I just didn't want her to know.

"Yeah I walked home after being too drunk on Tuesday and then uh got picked up and taken to my parents." I didn't sound believable but thankfully Mr. Hampton asked for everyone's attention and began the lecture.

--

His closing remarks reminded everyone that we should be doing our essay's this weekend as they were due on Wednesday and I felt myself tear up knowing I missed all the information I needed to do this assignment when I was too busy being a stupid depressed drunk.

Mer asked me if I wanted to hang out but I told her I needed to stay back and ask about the work I missed and I would be spending the weekend trying to catch up. She gave me a sympathetic smile and left the class leaving me alone with Mr. Hampton.

"Uh, Mr. Hampton?" I sheepishly asked.

"Yes Rose?" He still had his lecture voice on.

"Um, I, um, first off, I'm sorry" I sighed looking at the ground. "Second off, thank you for helping me yesterday, you really didn't have to stay or tidy up, I was acting stupid."

"Rose, what did I say about you calling yourself stupid hmm?" He sounded softer this time, more caring. "Look at me" it was a soft command but I brought my eyes to his blue ones, they looked so full of thought but I couldn't look long, I felt like I was going to cry.

"You told me I'm not stupid sir." I looked away as the first tear fell. The room was quite for a full minute and I could feel his eyes on me, and I left out a quiet sob.

"I um, I missed all your classes, and I um, I don't know what I need for my essay now, I-I understand if you don't have time to help me cover what I missed, I-I can take a fail, I-I deserve it" I quietly cried out when I felt his strong hand under my chin and lift my head up to look at his. He gently wiped my tears and I had a flashback to yesterday when he did the same thing. He was so gentle with me yesterday and I can barely remember what happened.

"I have a meeting I need to get to right now Rose, but I will help you, you don't deserve a fail you just had a bad week that's all," he pondered in thought for a moment, "I have some of my lecture notes at my home so after my meeting I will go there then I will come to your house to give you what you need okay?" he sounded so content I was baffled that the hard man I always thought he was, was taking time out of his put together life to help a wimpy 20 year old me.

"Okay thank you" I gave him a small smile and then scurried out of the room hurrying to my car and making my way back home.

I was finally hungry after not eating for god knows how long but I had no edible food in my fridge, and I don't know when Mr. Hampton will get here so I can't run to the store. I found a box of oatmeal granola bars and decided that this would have to do because it's my fault I don't have any other options. Half a granola bar in I realized that he was actually going to be coming back here and my place was covered in laundry. I rushed around picking up everything I knew to be dirty and throwing some in to wash and the rest on the floor to be washed next, the I scooped up all my clean laundry and dumped it onto my bed to start getting it folded and put away.

The knock came before I could even really get started and I internally groaned knowing that he already knows I'm a drunken slob sometimes.

"Hi Mr. Hampton, thanks for coming to help me" I said sheepishly opening the door to let him in.

"Hi Rose" he entered my place and looked around, "please call me Benjamin when we're not in class, Mr. Hampton makes me feel so formal" he offered me a smile.

We went over to my couch and sat down and began going over the notes I missed, I was trying to focus on every word he said but I was just feeling so overwhelmed by it all. Benjamin seemed to notice my increasing panic at the large amount of information being given to me.

"Hey Rose it's okay I know this is a lot of stuff we covered I don't expect you to retain everything right now, why don't we take a break for a minute" he offered.

"Yes thank you, I just need some water I think I'm just really dehydrated and it's hard to focus on so much." I said sadly knowing this is 100% my fault. "Can I get you anything? Well I actually only have water, wine, and granola bars...any of those things?" I laughed at how pathetic I must seem.

"Well Rose how about I offer you this, and you can say no if you don't feel comfortable" he sounded comfortable though, "it's going to be dinner time soon and we still have lots to cover so why don't you come with me to my house which has a fully stocked fridge and then we can continue on?"

I felt shocked at the offer but also intrigued, I mean I have been pining after this man for many weeks now and I might have had a thought or two about what it would be like to see where he lived and have a look into his world. I mean it's only fair now that he has seen into my world, as awful as it might be.

"Yeah okay, sounds like a plan" I offered a shy smile.