Save Me From Myself

Chapter 7

If you were an onlooker peeking into the home of Mr. Hampton in the early hours of this Saturday morning, you would find two people unknowingly falling for each other. They are afraid of the thoughts they have for each other, not knowing if they're okay, or what they mean.

You see Mr. Hampton's dreams were all about how much he cared for this girl he barely knew. He couldn't understand why his heart rate jumped every time she offered him a smile, or why his heart broke every time her stunning green eyes welled up with tears. Mr. Hampton felt wrong for being in his bed with his student, even though they were just sleeping, he couldn't help but feel that somehow he was overstepping with the young women knowing they likely are not a match. But when she calls him Benjamin all worrying feelings about overstepping and 15 year age gaps disappear. Benjamin doesn't feel old and Rose doesn't seem young, to him they feel like time is no concept and she is just his damsel going through something he needs to be there for. His unconscious was telling him that this is exactly where he needed to be. He was placed in Rose's life at this precise moment for a reason, unknown, but for a reason. 

Rose's thoughts were similar as she didn't know if it was okay that she was beginning to crave this man touch. She couldn't help but be overjoyed by the small acts of kindness he had given her because though seemingly small they were astronomically big acts to her. Rose's concern about Benjamin was that she believed a man like him would never care truly about a girl like her, she was too immature and lacking world experience in her eyes to be good enough for Benjamin- not to mention too mentally ill. Rose worried about how he would act if he really knew her, all her dark secrets, but she also desperately wanted to share them with him, only because he made her feel like he'd actually listen to everything she would say, and maybe even still care about her after. Rose wondered if it was possible for a man to love an imperfect girl like her.

While Rose and Benjamin dreamt about their worries their bodies subconsciously drifted closer together, craving each others touch to soothe their wandering minds.

If you peaked in the window of this bedroom now... you'd find two souls gently holding each other.

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Rose's POV

I awoke and began internally screaming but not daring to move. My back was pressed into Benjamin's chest and his hand was draped over my body holding mine as he peacefully slept. I felt so warm against him, it was the coziest I've ever felt. More important than that though I felt overwhelmingly safe. Sometimes I wake up so alone and scared that nothing makes me feel okay, or I wake up feeling so hollow and unattached from this world I'm surprised I've still allowed myself to be alive, but this morning, this unbelievably bazar morning I feel safe and less alone.

I'm still internally screaming at the fact I am snuggled into my English professor's chest after having a full depressive attack in his presence again. I am so embarrassed, mortified that I somehow lost control and allowed him to see that side of me. A side I had buried from sight for so long that no one in my current life knew. Why was I beginning to unravel now? 

I felt him stir awake so I pretended to be asleep still but I could feel him waking up with the same confusion and comfort as me. Well I hoped comfort. I felt him slowly untangle his hand from mine and roll out of the bed. I opened my eyes to peak as to what he was doing or to see any reaction he might have but after a minute I heard the shower start.

As I was laying there trying to replay everything that happened yesterday I heard the water stop running and a few moments later a very wet and slightly naked man appeared in front of the bed. Benjamin was just wearing a towel around his waist and I had to bite my lip to ensure I was actually awake seeing his very fit body. This is so wrong.