Wicked Things We Crave

Chapter Thirty

One Month Later

Astrid looked around the old house, all its belongings packed away into the moving truck. She remembered when she was nine and visiting this house for the first time, before Jonah decided to buy it. He'd looked so excited that day, calling it his first big step in adulting. He bolted quickly through all the rooms, showing her all the house had to offer, right down to her very own guest bedroom. She remembered well having to hold back her tears and fake a smile, pretending she was happy for him even though Astrid felt like she was dying inside. 

They hadn't been apart for more than a day or two since she'd been born, apart from him going to rehab when she was too young to remember. He was about to venture out on his own and start a new path Astrid feared would lead him far away from her, though it was only four blocks away. 

The change in his life didn't rip him away from her own, as it turned out. Instead it gave Astrid a sanctuary, and later on, a place to fall in love. Life had so many twists and turns, and this one more than any of the others had left Astrid feeling dizzy and completely out of control of her own existence. Falling in love with the man who'd been there for her every step of the way, including her first step, was still and would likely always be frowned upon by most, but Astrid wouldn't take it back for anything. 

"You having second thoughts?" Jonah asked as he wrapped his arms around her stomach, placing his chin on the top of her head. 

Astrid should have been terrified. She'd never reached a level of commitment even close to this one. With her last boyfriend, she freaked out when he started leaving toiletries at her house. Him saying I love you and scared her right out of the relationship. 

But this was real. This was right. This was her path. 

After turning in his arms, Astrid smiled and shook her head. "No second thoughts."

"Good," he said. "This is our time to be happy, Astrid. I've waited a damn long time to start my life, mostly just treading water for the last twenty years. Now that I have you, I'm ready. You jump, I jump, right?"

Astrid couldn't help but laugh at that. It'd been their motto for a good ten years after she watched the movie as a child. Again, and again, and again. Any time a milestone was reached either of them were scared of, any time they reached a difficult decision, when one jumped, they both did. It was their way of saying the other was never alone. The motto had faded over time, but had become no less true in the lost years.

"It's our time," Astrid agreed. 

Without realizing it, they'd both been treading water. It took an innocent night out, a handsome stranger, and a seductive song to force them to see what had been right in front of them. 

Jonah dipped his head to gaze into her eyes, a look that reminded her so much of when he kissed her the first time, stared into her soul, then kissed her again. The look someone gives when they see something truly remarkable for the first time. Like that night, his fingers moved to her back and up her spine, slow and calculated. 

There was no music, but as his body swayed against hers, Astrid realized they were now dancing to an instinctive beat. 

"I told your father this, and now I'm telling you. You are my reason, Astrid. Loving you has always given me a purpose, and has led me to be a better and stronger man and kept me on the straight and narrow."

His soft voice against her ear caused the hairs on Astrid's arms to stand up. Where her own words came from, she wasn't sure, but they weren't ones she wanted to take back once they were spoken. "I guess you better marry me, then."

Jonah separated from her enough to look into her eyes. "Are you proposing to me right now? I thought you wanted to slow things down after this step."

"I did," she admitted, "but starting this new chapter, I guess I just can't wait to see what the next has in store. I feel like this relationship has already been tested plenty of times, and every time we seem to come out of it mostly unscathed. I don't want to wait to share the best parts of my life with you."

"Because I'm not getting any younger?" Jonah teased, a smile pulling at the corner of his lips.

That was very true. The nineteen years between them didn't bother Astrid in the least, but it did come with realities they couldn't ignore. He would grow old before she did, which was a heartbreaking thought now that they were in a relationship. Eventually, his body would not be able to keep up with a child should they decide to have one or adopt. And someday, she hoped many years down the line, Astrid would be taking care of him just as he had with her when she was young. 

On the surface, it seemed silly to rush all the big moments, but time was also not standing still for them. It would press on, just as it always would for every person, and she wanted to savor as much as she could for as long as she could. Time couldn't be wasted in their case. 

"Because I love you completely," Astrid finally answered. "Because as much as it doesn't make sense, we are a perfect fit. Because I want forever with you."

Jonah's lips parted, and let out an unreadable sigh. But it didn't take him long to tell her exactly what was on his mind. "Is it bad that I'm considering turning you down because I'm old school and want to be the one who proposes to you?"

Relief flowed through Astrid as she looked up at him. "If that's how you want to play it. Just don't wait too long."

"I promise."