Wicked Things We Crave

Chapter Four

By the time they arrived, the bar's parking lot was almost full, and Jonah had to grab a parking spot near the back. Astrid opened the mirror in the visor and smoothed out the strands of her hair before applying some lipstick.

"You look good," Jonah reassured her as he killed the engine.

While she didn't doubt she looked better than Jonah was used to seeing her, she always tried to look her very best after a breakup. Not because Astrid wanted to reel in another man, but because it helped her to not just appear, but feel stronger. She couldn't get knocked down, and if she somehow did, she'd pick her ass right back up.

Astrid closed both the mirror and visor and turned to Jonah. "Just a post-breakup ritual, is all."

Jonah leaned back in the corner between the seat and the door of the driver's side and gave her a long look before he spoke. "How did you date a guy for six months without me knowing? I can't even remember the last time I met one of your boyfriends."

"Because you traumatized every guy I dated in high school," Astrid reminded him. "It got so bad that word got around and not a single guy asked me to prom."

Her father scared guys in classic dad-fashion. Jonah had taken it to a whole other level.

She remembered when a guy drove her home after a date senior year. Jonah came out of their house, saw them making out with his hand cupping her breast on the outside of her shirt, and pulled the guy out of the car, and threw him on the hood. Her dad had to pull him off before he got arrested.

He was never the normal godfather who babysat occasionally, sent cards and was an exemplary role model. Jonah was something entirely different. Yes, he babysat when her dad started dating again after her mom left. Yes, he gave her cards on every holiday and sometimes at random. And he wasn't a poor role model.

But he was always extra and always present. Jonah had been damn protective of her since day one. Maybe it was because she was surrounded by guys growing up in the repair shop. Maybe it was because he never had a child of his own. Whatever the reasons, he took the role more intensely than her godmother did, who she'd only seen a handful of times since she was a kid, and more than any of her friends godparents did.

"You're an adult now, Astrid. I get that. And I think I showed some damn good self-restraint by not beating the shit out of what's-his-face when he told you to get dressed."

He was likely too shell-shocked to do much of anything else, but Astrid was still grateful. That would have been one crap shower after another for Jack.

Hearing laughter coming from outside the car and seeing a group of twenty-something's going toward the bar, Astrid checked the time on her phone. "Music starts in ten minutes. We should head in," she told him before shoving some money and her ID in her bra, opting to leave her purse in the car so she didn't have to keep track of it.

When Astrid reached for the door handle, she glanced back at Jonah, whose gaze was fixated on where she just hid her items. It was something she hadn't thought twice about doing as it was fairly normal for her. "It's how women store things, Jonah. It's not a big deal."

Jonah wiped his face and shook his head, his eyes immediately shooting to the fence in front of him. "Yeah. Right. Sorry," he mumbled, the words stumbling over one another on the way out.

Once he had the car locked up, they walked side by side toward the bar. "And thank you for not hurting Jack last night. I know that wasn't something you expected to walk into."

He let out a nervous laugh. "At least I didn't walk in during. I think self-restraint would have been shot to shit if that were the case."

There was no reason, yet Astrid felt compelled to do so anyhow. "There was no during. Not last night, anyhow. He told me he loved me before things kicked off. The only thing I didn't have on was a shirt."

"Have you ever thought you might be in love?" Jonah asked as they continued their walk.

Astrid shook her head. There wasn't a single time where she couldn't wait to see a guy; not since Jonah left town, at least. She never anxiously awaited a text or phone call. She never looked at a man and just got lost in everything she was.

She'd lusted a few times, but her mind and heart instinctively knew that's all it was.

"Nope," Astrid finally answered aloud. "You?"

If Jonah dated, she didn't know about it. Astrid could only assume he did now and then, but the people in their lives were something they never really discussed.

"A couple of times, but in the end I found out it wasn't the real deal. Doesn't matter, I guess. Not as much as it used to."

"Why did it used to matter," Astrid asked, watching him scratch the stubble on his cheek as his eyes remained forward.

Jonah shrugged. "It's stupid. I just remember how I used to be so envious of your mom and dad before it all went to hell. Even afterwards, looking at the bond you and your dad had, that was something I wanted. I used to want a family, be a part of something that's perfectly ordinary, but strangely special, you know?"

"Used to," she repeated. "Not anymore?"

His eyes looked her way, looking hazier than normal. "Something I try not to think about anymore, I guess. I'm not as young as I used to be, obviously. Starting a family now, at my age, is like a terrifying pipe dream. It's not realistic and I'm probably too damn old for it."

Unsure of the right words to say, Astrid blurted, "Who knows, maybe your dream girl is in the bar and you'll fall hopelessly in love in seconds, propose in six months, and have a kid on the way a year from now."

"Maybe your dream guy is in there and I'll scare him away from you before he ever has a chance to even learn your name," Jonah countered with a wink he knew she couldn't reciprocate. He reached for the door handle and pulled it open and they followed the sound of the band's test run out to the beer garden on the other end.

Before they reached the outside once again, Jonah grabbed her upper arm. "What do you wanna drink?"

"Vodka lemonade, please."

Jonah gave her a quick smile and headed the other direction, while Astrid continued to follow the sounds of the instruments.

As soon as her bestie spotted her from the stage, her eyes lit up and she hopped down, running into her arms. "I didn't think you'd make it tonight."

Astrid gave Anya a quick hug. "Jonah and I skipped the annual boring dinner and went to the fair instead."

The light in Anya's eyes wilted away. "Please don't tell me you brought that stick-in-the-mud."

Those weren't the words Astrid would use to describe him, though the two of them weren't the biggest fans of one another. Anya had talked Astrid into sneaking out of the house on over one occasion back in high school. Jonah hated that Anya threw guys at Astrid while he was around, and she hated how he'd swoop in and scare them away. The two were forever locked in a power struggle that neither would ever win.

"Yes, I brought Jonah. You know we always hang out the weekend of my birthday."

Anya scrunched her nose and shook her head at a rapid pace. "Well, do me a favor and leave his ass at home next time. Now all this hotness will go to waste."

"Don't worry," Jonah chimed in from behind her, holding out her drink, "I told her I'd try to be on my best behavior tonight."

Anya laughed it off. "Yeah, that'll happen never. Seriously, you can play the friend, godfather, or cock blocker. You can't be all three."

"Apparently I can," Jonah fired back at her.

"Doesn't that get exhausting?"

Jonah crossed his arms and stood his ground like always. "Not a bit."

"Yeah well, I'm going to play plenty of dance music tonight. Seductive shit. And she's gonna dance tonight. With men."

Feeling like the third wheel, which wasn't unusual in this group, Astrid snuck away in search of something more fun than being spoken about like she wasn't there.