Wake of the Dead | Two

Chapter Twenty-five | Killian & Jasper

Squeezing harder onto Jasper's hand, Killian bit down on his tongue to stop a sharp yelp from escaping his lips. The needle moved uncomfortably through his skin, pulling the makeshift wire tight. "Jasper," His voice was tense, choking back the tears in his eyes.

"Deep breaths love, it's almost over." Jasper said softly, drawing comforting circles on the back of Killian's wrist with his thumb. The man's hand was much larger than Killian's, soft and warm. He could feel the strength behind it, see the powerful muscles in his biceps, still he had the most delicate touch of any person Killian had met.

The worst part was when the wire was pulled tight to bring his skin closed together. The large wound had been cleaned out thoroughly beforehand and the skin was still sensitive. Cohen had told Jasper it would be best to stitch it up after making sure it was completely disinfected. That whole process had been painful in itself.

Another unbearable ache followed a sharp, pinching sensation in his leg. He tightened his grip on Jasper's hand, closing his eyes tight and taking a deep breath like the other man had told him to. A few minutes later, Jasper was finished stitching the wound closed. He took out a pocket knife and flipped it open, carefully cutting the small bits of wire left over.

When everything was said and done, Jasper put the knife away and set the extra fishing wire aside. Killian shifted uncomfortably, not exactly fond of the way the wire seemed to tug at his flesh every time he moved. "You'll get used to it," Jasper said softly. He kissed Killian's forehead, leaving a small patch of warmth on his skin. Not sure what to say and his mind occupied with other thoughts, Killian didn't respond. Jasper tilted his head to the side ever-so-slightly, his brows knit together with concern. "You haven't said much today. Are you alright?"

"I'm just," Killian felt a bitter bile raise to the back of his throat. It felt like a hard lump was preventing him from speaking. Swallowing it back he managed, "Thinking. Been thinking a lot today. About...things." His voice trailed off awkwardly. He wasn't good at talking to other people. Killian stared down at his hands, lacing his fingers together and twiddling his thumbs. He couldn't think of anything else to say, or how to even begin.

The familiar scent of Jasper washed over Killian, making him feel suddenly lightheaded as the other man brought him into a hug. With Jasper's strong arms around him, he felt safe and secure—protected from the outside world. "Anything in particular bothering you?" Jasper paused, then his voice hardened. "Anybody bothering you?"

Stammering clumsily Killian replied, "Kind of—well, no—but a bit, maybe." He shook his head, trying to clear his thoughts. Pressing his face into Jasper's shoulder Killian mumbled, "Talking is hard."

"It can be," Jasper agreed. He ran his fingers through Killian's curly hair, cradling the smaller man against him. "But you know, sometimes it's better to say it out loud than bottling it all up inside." He explained, "Cause' eventually, that bottle's bound to explode, and that might hurt other people. Whether we want it to or not."

After a while of silence Jasper added, "Whatever it is, you can-"

"You can't love me!" Killian finally managed to blurt out, clenching his fists and breaking away from Jasper's gentle hold. He glared away, avoiding as much eye contact as possible. Why did Jasper have to make things so difficult? Why couldn't he just get mad, yell at him, throw something, any normal reaction? Something predictable Killian could understand. Something that was familiar, that he knew how to process. Instead, he was met with grim silence. The air was still now, pulled taught like a string ready to snap.