Wake of the Dead | Two

Chapter Forty-Six | Killian & Jasper

Jolting awake with a start, Killian scanned the pitch-black bedroom quickly. The door was locked, the window sealed closed—no way for anybody to break their way in. He stopped, breath squeezing out of his lungs. Jasper was standing at the window of the room, his brows narrowed and staring outside. The snarls of biters far away echoed through the otherwise silent night.

The moon was Killian's only source of light, shedding a beautiful silver glow across Jasper's skin. His hair was unkempt, expression brooding and dark. Those pale blue eyes were turned into a ghostly—almost gleaming argent. He was shirtless, with his muscular build and broad chest on full display. Earlier when he'd returned home, he'd immediately fallen asleep—still wearing his jeans, which sagged just below his hips. As if Jasper felt Killian watching him, his eyes flickered towards him.

What Killian saw in them was something he hadn't expected. Fear and grief, two things he rarely ever saw Jasper express. The past week had quickly turned his lover from the human incarnation of a golden retriever to a grim shell of what he used to be. This wasn't the Jasper he knew, but he wasn't afraid. Killian had been in that exact same place before, frightened and sad—when Jasper first found him, he'd been those and many other things—ready to give up, resentful and bitter toward his new reality.

Killian pushed himself out of bed, feeling the cold floor on his feet as he padded across their room to hug his lover's waist. Kissing one of the many horrifying scars that laced across Jasper's back, he closed his eyes. "Jasper, look at me, baby." Jasper's head turned, but he quickly looked away again. Killian could feel the other man's muscles tensing up, see Jasper's grip tighten on the windowsill.

"Killian, please don't do this." Jasper murmured. "Don't tell me I'm a good person. Not after that." Killian watched as Jasper's nose wrinkled with disgust. "Don't comfort me with lies."

"They aren't lies." Killian whispered. He let go of Jasper's waist, forcing himself between his partner and the window. Hopping up to sit on the sill, he blocked Jasper's view of the outside, reaching up to hold the other man's cheek. Jasper's large hand delicately held Killian's arm in place as he leaned into the comforting touch. "You know that better than anybody. Love, you might not know it—you looked just as terrified as Cohen."

Jasper paused for a few seconds, blinking. "I did?"

Killian nodded. He planted a warm kiss on Jasper's chest, right above where his strong heart beat. "I don't know what you were thinking," he admitted, "But I know you were scared. That...doesn't make things better. But you aren't a killer." Killian's stomach sank as Jasper flinched, taking a sudden interest in the floor. "Is that what they called you?" He murmured softly, "The people who hurt you?"

"The people I hurt." Jasper said shakily. His eyes shut tight, burying his face into Killian's shoulder. Killian's heart beat faster in his chest, he could feel the danger behind Jasper's strong muscles—but he wasn't afraid. If anything, he felt safer. "After the biters attacked the city, I had nothing. I...I didn't feel. There was no emotions, nothing." Jasper's voice caught in his throat, bt Killian remained patient. "Then there were people I met. Bad people. They turned me into something I hate." Jasper's hands clenched, "Whenever any of you call me gentle, all I can think of are the people I..." He hesitated, "The lives I took."

Killian's eyes widened. But he quickly forced himself to remain quiet. "Please," Jasper whispered, "Don't be afraid. I love you, don't leave me." Killian cradled the back of Jasper's head, his lover's voice only a faint murmur as he said, "You're all I have left."

Killian lifted Jasper's face, leaning forward and pressing his lips against his partner's. Jasper was hesitant to respond, but after a few second's hesitation, quickly caved in. When their lips parted, Killian wrapped his arms around Jasper's neck. "I know you...you weren't a good person, love. Maybe even horrific and dangerous. But that isn't who you are now." Killian pressed his forehead against Jasper's. "I'm not afraid of you. You've never lied to me, you've never hurt me. Whatever those people did to you—they twisted an innocent person into something they could use."