Whatever The F He Wants

Viva la Europe - Munich

APRIL & JENN

"Would you look at this, Jenn?" April held out the clothing from the rack. "Excuse me, sorry. What do you call this?"

"A dirndl?" Jenn repeated. "Thanks. Well, it's pretty. I wouldn't choose that colour... "

"Oh, no," April shook her head. "Take this one for Jessie. It'll match her skin tone. Yours I think would be best served with... this one."

"Especially now I've dyed my hair," Jenn took a breath. "Well, would you look at that price? I suppose they expect all the girls to wear 'em."

"It is a tradition," April smiled. "Even if it is one where everyone gets plastered and goes on amusement park rides. What is it again? Oktoberfest? Is it only held in October, do you think?"

"Beats me," Jenn raised her eyebrows. "I'll go try this one on. I think you're complimenting me, April, but you know I'm a size up than that."

"I'm trying, dear," April called. "And I'll bring you another one I've just found."

APRIL & PHIL

"What are those?" Phil took a seat on a bench. "I couldn't see you in that crowd. It's madness, Ape. I don't know how we'll find the others."

"We'll know because of all the cameras," April smiled. "Thank you. Let me just put my handbag here. Here you go - they're called lebkuchen."

"What's that mean?" Phil tore off the wrapper. "It's pretty good."

"Gingerbread. And how cute! They're in the shape of hearts," April popped one in her mouth. "I've seen Jessie and Jenn go off on their way. They're in that ride with the spinning disc - girls in dirndls press up against each other and the last girl wins - oh, Phil."

"What?"

"This is just - where's my bag? Oh, I know I have an old receipt in here somewhere."

"There's a trash can over there," Phil pointed. "You alright?"

JENN & RAAB

"I only saw you from the feather in your cap," Jenn frowned. "Are you sure you should start drinking already?"

"Look around us," Raab gestured. "Who isn't drinking? If you're sober by night time they should throw you out, at least from the beer tent. Where's Ape and Phil?"

"I last saw them at the high striker," Jenn glanced over her shoulder. "April was cheering him on."

"What about you?" Raab whistled. "What's this get up you're wearin'?"

"It's a dirndl," Jenn pirouetted. "You know, I got less looks from guys since I learned how to tie it right."

"What?"

"I walked out of our hotel tied this way, and that means you're single... this way, the way I have it now, means your spoken for or not looking."

"Well, jeez," Raab's beer sloshed in his mug. "Just ask! That's all I've been doin'. Every chick's said yea or nay on her own terms."

"Respect the tradition," Jenn jabbed him with a finger. "This is what we're here for, to enjoy ourselves, but also to learn something."

"Not me!" Raab took a drink. "You seen Bam?"

"That's who I'm looking for," Jenn glanced around. "Oh, Chris. Look."

"Don't call me that," Raab paused. "Yeah, I see 'em. Are they gettin' on the rollercoaster?"

"I thought she was afraid of heights," Jenn mused. "Jessie told me once."

"It's not that she'll be nervous about," Raab chuckled. "Look at his sweatshirt. He didn't even go to Harvard!"

"Oh, like that matters," Jenn swatted him away. "You know, April picked out her dirndl. Her hair wouldn't have gone well with mine."

"You chicks and your clothes," Raab snickered. "Why are we watching them? Why aren't we living up this greatest moment on earth?"

"We?" Jenn stared. "There is no we. Now go over and sign that girl's breast. She's been looking at you this whole time."