Whatever The F He Wants

Bridal Shower

MISSY & BAM

"Babe," Missy laughed. "Come sit down. Where'd you guys come from?"

"Me, Dico and Novak thought we'd pop by," Bam smirked. "See what all this fuss is about. You ordering wedding stationery? I like this one."

"It's medieval, calligraphic, like parchment," Missy flourished. "Dico, don't touch that! Novak, please just - please put your pants on. See, I have to apologise for you at every place we go to."

"They don't mind, do ya?" Bam grinned. "Hey, Dico, you're right. Isn't this the place Jessie works at?"

"Yes, but she's on her break," Missy raised her eyebrows. "Guys, can you put the cameras down? Yes, Bam, but the production company thought it was better for the narrative to exclude her."

"So you've got all the other employees waitin' on ya hand and foot," Bam laughed. "I'll leave ya to it. Tell Jessie hi for me. I never see her nowadays."

"You'd see her less if you were busier planning our wedding more!" Missy called. "Thank god he's gone. Sometimes he gets on my nerves. Sorry, where were we?"

BAM & DICO

"Yo, you gotta be easier on her," Dico smirked. "Can you turn that radio down? I know it's your Hummer... "

"Yer damn right," Bam raised his eyebrows. "I gotta put on some CKY. Hometown flair. Missy's alright, y'know. She knows it's part of the package."

"I reckon she's a good girl," Dico pointed. "Let's stop at Antonio's, I'm famished. But you know she'll want you to wind all this down once you've got a ring on her finger."

"Well, tough shit," Bam chuckled. "Life was boring as fuck back when I was skateboarding under a bridge with Tim O'Connor and those guys from school. Now I've got cameras and cash in the bank. Who knows, maybe another show? They want us to film a pregnancy if one happens."

"A little Bam," Dico sniggered. "What could be worse?"

APRIL & MARIAN

"Look at this table," April smiled. "You see, Marian. In rare times, I can clean up Bam's house just enough to decorate this well."

"I have no objection," Marian raised her eyebrows. "I've seen it and sometimes it looks like a bomb's hit it - of course, that's only when Missy's been away for a couple days."

"Away?" April frowned. "Oh, she'll be going on her bachelorette party soon, won't she?"

"She's looking forward to it," Marian glanced. "That's Missy leading the girls in. We have cutlery, glasses, napkins, the works! I don't mind telling you I couldn't have done this without your help."

"A shared effort," April chuckled. "Oh, here they are. Surprise!"

"Open mine first," Marian glanced at April. "Well, you know what they say. The smallest present can sometimes be the best."