Was that love?

Heartache (Not A Chapter)

I think about you the whole day. I try to unfold the slightest, silliest chance of us being together. I try to talk to you but my conscience, my mind doesn't allow me to do so. I feel like fighting myself for you.
Through the years that I have known you, been with you, laughed with you, cried for you, I realised you are my soul mate. You understand me like no one else, you make me understand like no one else, you comfort me like no one else, I feel home with you, I feel extraordinarily comfortable with you. We can fights for hours, days, years but one thing we both can't deny is there's something between us which is beyond any relationship, which is beyond love, hate, or whatever emotion you can say. It's just.. Not definable. People say that you and me are destined to be together, that we complete each other and we should be together. Well I don't know about lovers, but I am sure enough to say this loud out that you are my soul mate. But yeah I also can't deny that there's this one part of me who still loves you unconditionally, who still misses the beautiful old days of how you used to tease her yet support her, how after the first time you kissed her, you said "I would never wash this shirt coz it has your fragrance in it", how you lifted her hands high in air and said "always wanted to do this titanic pose with you", how you used to trust on her and her loyalty, how you used to love her so purely, so innocently.
Though I don't talk to you regularly, my feelings never gets lessened. Whatever I do, I can't get over your thoughts. Without you my life seems like a joke to me. But again there's this barrier between us which neither of us is being able to cross, there's this huge confusion of what this is. I can sense it, ik you have the same feeling for me but I don't know what's stopping you. Whatever it is, I can't happen to change anything, so the only thing I can say is that I want us to be a part of each other's lives, by whatever relation, I just want you to be with me when I cry, to hold me and tell me that I am strong enough to handle this, and maybe, for a moment, just a moment, I want you to love me the way you did again. Maybe it's not possible, but I would spend eternity wishing for this.

~from real life Adya to her real life Reyansh

Ps:this isn't a part of the story. For those who don't know, I have taken a break from writing the story due to my exams. I just wrote this to express my heartache. I know it's irrelevant to post this in the book and I am sorry about that!