Broken

Chapter 22

Authors note:
Two chapters in one night! Woot! Felt inspired! ;)
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I looked up and wiped my eyes when I heard a knock on the window. I was surprised to see Taylor standing there.
"Are you okay?" he asked when I rolled the window down.
"Yeah," I lied. "Just not feeling well myself."
"You don't have to lie to me," he said with a small smile. "You know that."
"I - I just," i stammered. "I overheard you two arguing and this whole night has been overwhelming for me."
"You heard that, huh?"
I nodded, "Is everything okay with you two?"
"Well she left me here," he scoffed. "So i don't know yet."
"She left you?" I asked surprised.
"She's just pissy right now," he shrugged. "Can I get a ride back to my hotel so I can try talking to her?"
"Oh, uh, yeah," I said then bit my bottom lip. "Hop in."
"Thanks," he said and walked around to the passenger side of the car.
"Yeah, sure," I muttered under my breath. "I don't mind helping my ex make up with his bitchy ass girlfriend who hates my guts."
"What's that?" He said sliding into the seat next to me. I didn't even hear the door had opened.
"I said 'no problem'," I replied quickly. "I'm happy to help."
He looked at me curiously but didn't say anything.
"Where are you staying?" I asked putting the car in reverse.
He told me and we drove in silence.
"I didn't mean that seeing you again meant nothing," he said finally. "I've really missed you. But getting over you was the hardest thing I've ever had to do."
"You don't have to explain yourself to me, Tay," I said, glancing over at him. "I know. I get it. It hurts, but I want you to be happy. I've always wanted you to be happy."
He smiled, "Are you happy?"
"Sometimes I think so," I said. "Other times..."
He nodded as my words trailed off.
"Not so much," he finished my sentence. "I know what you mean."
"I thought you were happy?" I asked, pulling into the parking lot of his hotel.
"Yeah," he said softly. "When did you realize you were over me?"
"Any day now," I admitted parking the car, then crossing my fingers. "Well, here you are."
He nodded but made no effort to get out of the car.
"You're still not over me?" he asked after a minute.
I smiled and my eyes met his. I reached out and brushed a strand of hair away from his eyes, "I'll never be over you, Taylor Hanson."
He grabbed my hand, and suddenly pulled me into a kiss.
Then just as suddenly he pulled away.
"I am so sorry," his cheeks bright red. "I shouldn't have done that."
Before I could respond, he opened the passenger door and jumped out of the car.
He slammed the door shut and I watched him rush off to the main entrance of the hotel.
"I think that went well," I said sarcastically before heading back home.
Once I was safe back in my apartment I peeled off my dress and threw on sweats and a TShirt. I poured myself a glass of wine and sat on my couch.
I could still taste his lips on mine and I was coming down from the high of his kiss. In true addict form, all I could think about was getting that next hit. But I knew it was impossible.
I sipped my wine and began repeating the serenity prayer, trying to block out the thoughts of Taylor.
My phone rang half way through my second glass of wine.
"What happened to you?" I heard Jen ask when I answered.
"Way too much," i scoffed.
"Like?" she asked.
I sighed and recapped my evening for her.
"Oh my god!" she gasped, interrupting when I got toward the end. "He kissed you? Is he with you now? Should I let you go?"
I laughed, "No he's not with me. When he realized what he had done he couldn't get outta the car fast enough. It was a mistake. A momentary lapse in judgment on his part."
"And on your part?" she asked.
"Call it a relapse," I half joked. "But I'm better now."
"You sure?" she asked.
"Yeah," I said. "I'll always love him. But we're just not meant to be."
"If you say so," she said sarcastically. "He definitely doesn't belong with Krystal. Even you have to admit that."
"If he's happy -" I started.
"Don't give me that bullshit," she said. "Just admit it! She is NOT right for him at all."
"No she's not," I sighed. "But that's not our call to make."
"Hopefully he will come to his senses after all this," she said thoughtfully.
"Hopefully," I agreed.
"Would you get back with him if he wanted to?" she asked.
"Jen, I really can't think about that," I started. "We've already established it isn't going to work with us."
"Okay okay," she surrendered. "I'll drop it. You're okay though right?"
"Yes," I said, getting a little annoyed with being asked that question so much in one evening. "I'm fine. I'll call you tomorrow. I'm going to bed."
She reluctantly bid me farewell and we hung up.
Her question kept replaying in my head as I walked to the kitchen to put my glass in the sink. Would I get back together with him if he asked? In a heartbeat, no question. I still loved him. Would it be possible? Not likely. He had a girlfriend. Too much time had passed. Something always forced us apart. If we were meant to be it wouldn't be like that would it?
A knock on my door forced me out of my thoughts.
"Who is it?" I asked.
"It's Taylor," I heard his voice from the other side of the door.
I quickly unlocked the door and opened it, "How did you know where I lived?"
"Jen told me, awhile ago," he explained.
"What are you doing here?"
"I couldn't leave things that way," he said. "I mean, we're in Jen and Zac's wedding. We need to talk about what happened. Can I come in?"
"Oh," I said, and chewed on my bottom lip as I backed up giving him space to walk in.
I closed the door behind him as he went and sat on the couch. I followed him and sat next to him.
"So talk," I said.
"I'm sorry I kissed you," he started. "It was a mistake. I wasn't trying to -"
"It's okay," I said. "I'm just as much at fault. I know you have a girlfriend -"
"Had a girlfriend," he sighed.
"She broke up with you?" I asked.
"I don't know," he said. "I think so. She wasn't at the hotel after you dropped me off. All her stuff was gone."
"Wow," I said. "But nothing even happened."
"That she knew of anyway," he said, his shoulders slumping.
"I'm so sorry Taylor," I said softly. "If I had known it was going to be an issue, I wouldn't have agreed to be Jen's maid of honor. The last thing I want is more problems for you."
"No," he said. "You and Jen have been best friends forever. You should be a part of her wedding. I'm the one who fucked up. I think I talked about you far too much. I just - you know how you told me that any day now you'd be getting over me?"
I nodded slowly.
"Well it's the same for me," he admitted. "I still have strong feelings for you. How could I not?"
"But - but what about Krystal?" I stumbled over my words.
"I care about her a lot," he said. "I do, but she'll never be you. I'm sorry to unload all of this on you, but after seeing you tonight and Krys leaving..."
"Oh Taylor," I sighed.
"I know you and I aren't meant to be together," he guessed what he thought I was going to say. "But couldn't we have just one more night together? One more chance to love each other again?"
"I don't think that's a good idea," I said, reluctantly.
He looked down and nodded, "Yeah, you're probably right. I just - I think about you at least once a day. I wonder how you're doing and if you're okay. I wonder where we would be if things had turned out differently for us. If we'd be married or have kids. I wonder if you're seeing anyone new and if you love him as much as you loved me."
"There is no one else I could love as much as I love you," I said quietly.
"You still love me?" he asked his eyes meeting mine.
I bit my bottom lip and nodded, "More than anything."
He didn't hesitate as his hands cupped my face and brought my lips to his. My fingers instinctively found themselves tangled in his hair as I finally got the hit I was longing for earlier.
"Oh Amelia," he moaned as his lips began trailing down my neck. "I have missed you so much."
"I've missed you too," I breathed, pulling back slightly to pull off my TShirt.
My fingers began unbuttoning his shirt as he lifted me up, my legs wrapped around his waist.
"Bedroom?" he asked.
"That way," I said pointing down the hall, before crashing my lips on his again. No drug I had ever tried had ever gave me even half the rush as he did.