Broken

Chapter 11

"I wasn't sure if I'd ever see you again," Taylor confessed to me as we lay in bed later that night.
"I didn't know either to be honest," I said, as he brushed the hair out of my face and tucked it behind my ears.
"I don't want to lose you again," he said.
"You'll never lose me," I said.
He smiled and sat up to reach for something in his pants pocket. He pulled out a small ring box. I inhaled sharply.
"I was hoping you'd say that," he said, opening it to expose a small diamond engagement ring. "Amelia, I want you to marry me."
I stared at the ring, unable to speak.
"I know it's crazy," he said. "But nothing about our relationship has been exactly normal."
"Taylor," I started. "Were only 17."
"We can wait," he said, quickly. "Until were 18 or 19, I just know I want you to be my wife. I want to spend the rest of my life with you, protecting you, loving you."
I looked into his eyes and the entire conversation with Isaac from earlier disappeared. I wanted those things too. I knew he was the one for me, the only one.
"Yes," I said softly.
"Yes?" he asked hopefully.
I nodded, "Yes! More than anything in this world yes!"
Deep down, I knew I should've remembered what I had promised Ike. I should've remembered I wouldn't be allowed to return to Oklahoma for many years. But none of that mattered, because in that moment this amazingly wonderful man who had put not only his money, career and reputation on the line for me but also his life, this man that I was absolutely crazy about wanted to marry me. And I would've been a fool to turn him down.
His face lit up into a bright smile and he quickly slid the ring on my finger and kissed me.
The next morning we went down to the restaurant to have breakfast and there they all were waiting. The entire Hanson clan.
Diana immediately rushed over to me and hugged me tightly.
"Oh Amelia, dear," she said. "Ike told me you were here. I'm so happy to see you and to hear you are in a much better situation."
"I owe it all to those amazing boys of yours," I said softly before squeezing Taylor's hand. "Especially this one."
She smiled proudly, "They are pretty great kids. I don't know what I'd do without any of my babies."
She kissed Taylor on his forehead and that's when I remembered my promise to Ike. I glanced down at the ring on my finger and twisted it around to hide the diamond.
"Mom we have some-" he started.
"I think we should wait to tell them," I said leaning over to whisper in his ear.
He looked at me confused.
"Have some what, dear?" she asked, gesturing for us to sit.
"Extra tickets for tonight's show right?" he sighed, seeing the look in my eyes that told him we should wait.
"Oh of course," she said. "Amelia and Jen will be attending tonight's show as well?
He nodded, "Yeah I wanna spend as much time with Amelia as possible."
"Why would they need tickets when they can just come back stage again?" Zac asked giving Taylor a funny look.
"Oh right," Taylor said looking down his cheeks turning beet red. "I forgot."
"It was last night?" Zac said shaking his head in disbelief. "Not even 12 hours ago. Was the sex that -"
Ike kicked him underneath the table and Zac stopped talking.
"Sorry," Zac muttered and turned back to his eggs while Jen tried to suppress her giggles.
After breakfast we went back to Taylor's room so he could get ready for soundcheck.
"Why didn't you want to tell anyone?" he asked when we were alone in the room.
I could almost hear my heart breaking as I said the next few words, "I don't think we can get married, Tay."
I slipped the ring off my finger and placed it into the palm of his hand, closing his fingers around it.
"What?" he asked surprised. "But why? What happened?"
"Nothing. I've just been thinking," I said. "I'm not going to be able to go to Oklahoma for a long time. If we get married -"
"Ike told you to tell me this, didn't he?" he snapped cutting me off.
"He's not wrong Tay," I said. "I can't take you away from your family!"
"You wouldn't be," he said softening his tone and taking my hands in his. "They would understand. They already do. And I could visit and so could they."
"And the band?" I asked. "Something would end up suffering. It wouldn't work. Not right now, not until it all blows over back there."
He closed his eyes and shook his head, as if trying to shut out the words I was saying, "Amelia, I can't lose you, not again."
"You're not losing me, Tay," I said. "I just can't marry you."
"Same difference," he said bitterly, sitting on the bed.
"Taylor," I said, crouching down in front of him. "I love you more than anyone in this world. You're the only person I've ever felt completely safe with, I've ever completely trusted. I want nothing more than to be your wife and spend the rest of my life making you happy, but forcing you to move away from your family and cause your music to suffer wouldn't make you happy. You would end up resenting me for it."
"No," he said, quickly. "I could never-"
"I can't take that chance," I said. "I couldn't live knowing you hated me for any reason. And us getting married right now would lead to that."
"We can wait as long as it takes," he said.
"I don't think we can right now," I said quietly. "It wouldn't be fair to you. You're out there touring and meeting all kinds of people, girls -"
"I don't want any other girl," he said firmly.
"I'm just saying we're so young," I said. "The excitement of everything is going to die off and-"
"If that's the only reason you think I love you," he said, flatly. "Then maybe we shouldn't be together."
"I know you love me for more than that Tay," I said. "But-"
"But it's not enough right now," he said sadly.
I looked down as a tear escaped my eyelids, "No I don't think it is. I hate this, I do. You're the only one for me. I know that, but I love you too much to let you ruin your life for me."
He didn't say anything for the longest time, then finally, "Im going to be late for soundcheck. At least come to the show tonight so I can at least see you before we hit the road again?"
"I wouldn't miss it for the world," I said and hugged him tightly.
We said our goodbyes and he headed down to the bus to meet up with his brothers and I met Jen in the lobby.
"What was that about at breakfast?" she asked as we headed back to her parents house to get cleaned up for that night's show.
I told her everything from mine and Ike's conversation, Taylor's proposal, and how I had just broken his heart.
"Oh god," she said. "I understand, I do, but you two seemed so perfect for each other. We don't have to go tonight if you don't want to."
"I have to," I said. "I promised Taylor I would."
She nodded in understanding and we made our way back to her house in almost silence.
We got ready and made our way back to the venue after grabbing a quick bite to eat.
We went in through the back way this time since we were on the list and got situated in the backstage area.
Zac and Ike came up to us a while later. Zac immediately gravitated to Jen while Ike lingered back to talk to me.
"Where's Tay?" I asked him.
"He'll be out in a little bit," he said. "He's still upset about - he'll be out in a bit."
"I hate myself for doing that," I said sullenly.
"It's for the best though," he nodded. "You did the right thing."
I nodded, "Promise me you'll remind him of that. You'll tell him I wasn't trying to hurt him."
"You don't have to worry about that," I heard Tay's voice from behind me.