Time enough for love (lumity AU)

Searching for Mittens

Trigger warning, this chapter contains descriptions of self harm, depression and suicidal thoughts. Reader discretion is advised.

Amity POV
I stared at the newly gained cuts in my wrists and arms I had just given myself. I clutched the bloody, broken piece of glass I had been using and watched as blood started to pour out of one of the wounds. "I must have cut an artery or something" I thought to myself. I began laughing uncontrollably "wow Amity well done you can't even cut yourself right, you're parents really are right about you, you're absolutely worthless." I began feeling light headed from the blood loss. The world was spinning as I felt myself growing drowsy and my eyelids heavy. Looks like this time I might actually get myself killed. Not that I minded. Frankly I have been wanting my life to end for years now but I've always been too much of a coward to do it. As I felt myself beginning to slip into unconsciousness images of Luz popped into my head. I began to sob uncontrollably as I thought about how she would react. She would be heartbroken, the one person who really matters to me and I would've hurt them. I suppose it was a matter of time. I had already screwed over our friendship by kissing her so maybe it would just be better if I die now so she can move in with her life. Ed and Em will be sad too but they'll be fine I hope. It's possible Mum and Dad will abuse them instead but i hope the two of them will be able to get out of that hellhole soon. I thought about Luz one last time, wishing I would've gotten to see that wonderful smile I loved so much again. With Luz on my mind the blood loss caught up to me and I fell unconscious, unknowing if I would ever wake up.

Luz POV

Me and Ed walked with a speedy pace but due to my previous sprint to amity and subsequent sprint to find Ed and Em I was already pretty beat. It was was going to take us a few minutes to get to the library but an uncomfortable silence had fallen between me and Ed. I could sense some anger coming from him and something told me it was directed towards me.
Eventually it seemed he couldn't take it anymore and broke the silence
"Why'd you do it?" He asked, frustration clear in his voice.
"Do what?" I asked honestly.
"Reject Mittens" he said "she says that you don't feel the same but I know that's B.S. I've seen how you look at her, how you blush how she makes you laugh, how you're always running around trying to find her." He says with a defeated tone in his voice. It's clear he's been trying to figure this out for a while. "So why when she confessed did you reject her?"
I let out a sigh. I had been considering this myself. I had told Amity that I didn't feel the same and I had told Eda, Gus and Willow that I didn't understand my feelings. But that wasn't entirely true. In honesty I knew I had a crush on Amity but the main cause for my conflicting feelings was the time I had left in the boiling isles. "Ed" I began "I'm not gonna be in the boiling isles forever. In about a month and a half I have to go home, back to the human world. I want to be able to tell my mom about this place and I want to be able to come here again but I'm not sure how well she will take it. There's a fair chance she might never let me come back here again, and if that happens I'll never see Amity again." I felt tears roll down my cheeks at the thought. "This way if she thinks I don't love her like she does me then it might be easier for her to move on. She could form a relationship with that new girl Zoe, she could have a life with her and forget all about me."
Ed looked at me with sympathy in his eyes "kid, 1000 years could pass and mittens would never forget about you." As he says this I look up at him "you make her happier than anyone has ever made her. She has smiled more in the last couple of months than she has in the whole rest of her life combined. She let out true laughter for the first time in actual years." He explains looking up at the sky. "You've made her a better person, no longer cold and distant, someone who only cares about themselves and their grades but into someone who is warm, kind and loving. That's because of you." He turns to me "I know that the idea of never seeing her again scares you and you think this way will make it easier to say goodbye, but it won't. Even if you don't ever get to come back, spending time with Amity in the way you both want to for just these last few weeks would be the best experiences of either of your lives. And if your mother truly loves you and wants what's best for you, she'll let you come back when she hears you talk about mittens, cause she'll hear the same love in your voice for her as we do, so even though you might be in an alternative dimension for a little while" he places his hands on my shoulders "it won't be the last time we see you."
I stand there mouth wide open at what he had just said. I had been so stupid. I had been so concerned about how she would take it if I didn't come back I hadn't even thought about the scenario in which my mum did let me come back. I put my hands on my head and groaned in frustration and groaned loudly "I'm such an idiot" I said.
"True" Ed said nodding his head "but mittens likes you anyway so we'll let it slide. Now let's go find her" he said as we continued our search for the youngest Blight.

Emira POV

Zoe and I were searching around hexside for any sign of Amity. We checked her classes, the cafeteria, the hallways, the toilets. No sign of her.
"I hope Luz and Ed are having better luck" Zoe says with a worried sigh.
"I'm sure they are" I say trying to comfort the young girl "how about we take a break?" I ask. She nods and we both sit down and begin to chat.
"So you and Mittens have been spending quite a bit of time together" I say In my usual teasing tone.
She blushes slightly before answering "yeah she's great, she's smart, funny... beautiful."
I give her a smirk "got yourself a crush on my little sister there do ya?"
She smiles before the blush drains from her face and she looks at the ground solemnly "yeah but I'm not gonna tell her."
I look at her skeptically "why not?" I ask.
She turns her head up to face me "because she's in love with Luz" she admits "and I'm pretty sure Luz has feelings for her too but is pretending she doesn't for whatever reason."
I look at her with sympathy. I knew what she was talking about. Both me and Ed had been thoroughly shocked when Amity said Luz had rejected her as we were confident Luz had feelings for mittens. We had seen the way she looks at Amity, the way she tries to hide the blushes in her face when talking to her.
"I don't know why Luz rejected Amity" Zoe continues "but I'm sure that soon enough she's gonna really regret that and Is gonna want to try again, and that'll make Amity happy"
"Why don't you talk to Luz about it?" I ask
"I will" Zoe says "just at the moment we have to make sure Amity is safe, when things calm down I'll talk to Luz about it, but for right now let's go find Amity." She stands up and we both head off once again in search of Amity.