In a Heartbeat (MxM)

Chapter 55

A/N: Sorry it's late, uwu. Holiday season is always chaotic for work, and the discord(s) I've joined are great, chaotic, and also a wee bit distracting. Enjoy the long (3.3k word) chapter hehe. Don't forget to comment, vote, follow, etc. Love hearing your thoughts (or the all-cap rants) <3

Chapter 55

Songs: Fear by Sleeping at Last; Anger by Sleeping at Last

[I do recommend Fear for the beginning portion, but Anger can apply to the whole chapter]

Vince's POV

It felt like I was dreaming again, but I was awake. Ever since Simon had walked out, I had lowered my dose again, and since then I had been experiencing these weird dreams/visions of Simon and what appeared to be his past. They were haunting, I had seen the day I kicked him out, seen him running endlessly in the forest, even seen him arguing with Aspen in one of them, all in his perspective. Even times that I had no idea how he could smile again after experiencing something like that.

They were frightening, sobering.

Maybe I had lowered the dose too low again, but in a way, I was glad to see these visions of him. At least I got to see him in these. I wasn't sure how long he'd distance himself, wasn't sure how long it'd take me to figure out what I wanted, and I wasn't sure if he'd care to listen if I did.

And I thought I had figured it out. Thought I had a semblance of an idea of how I felt. About what it was I wanted. But I wasn't sure what to tell him. Wasn't sure if I could even properly express what I felt, or how it made me feel.

Another vision of Simon appeared, this time with Michael and I nearly snarled aloud. All the visions I had seen were from his past, but Simon was wearing the same clothes I saw him leave the packhouse this morning.

So this was happening now. All while I was trying to get a peace treaty signed by a notorious pack up north. One that did not like the idea of treaties in general. Another one of Michael's ridiculous chores to do.

"Let it burn," Michael had sneered and it took everything in me to ground myself and remind myself of where I was and what I was doing.

But the vision showed Michael's hand lowered at the base of his spine, and I felt sick to my stomach.

"Besides, you should be used to this, right?" I balled my fists, sure that if I had been standing I would've lost my balance. No.

I could see Simon squirm, his face in pain and uncomfortable at Michael's forceful grip, and I wanted nothing more to be transported there to beat the living shit out of Michael.

"You think he cares about you? The only reason he'd ever mark you is for that stupid role."

No. No no no. My wolf growled in agreement, startling the wolves in the room as they looked at me warily. That's not what I want, Simon, I wanted to shout at him. No, I told myself. I don't want that. Not at all.

All I wanted was to protect him. For him to be happy. All I wanted was to be-

"He doesn't need you," Michael's words came back to haunt me. Then the words he told Simon, "He doesn't care."

"If he did, he'd be here with you."

No, I told myself. Less thinking. More feeling. That's what he wanted. I can be there for him. I do care.

"I need to go," I gritted, hoping my wolf would keep it together long enough till I left their territory.

"The treaty," the head beta slid the paper towards me. Their alpha stood behind him with his arms crossed eyeing me curiously.