In a Heartbeat (MxM)

Chapter 63

A/N: Thanks for your patience. It's a bit on the shorter side, but I didn't want to go on and on and start having tangents for this scene. Hopefully, it does it justice. Enjoy (or don't), either way, I love y'all <3

Chapter 63

Song: Unknown (To You) by Jacob Banks; Tribulation by Matt Maeson (Ft. Verite); Just Asking by Aquilo; Arcade by Duncan Laurence

(Lots of other songs were needed for this scene, but these hit the hardest) <3

Vince's POV

"I just..." I trailed, running a hand through my hair. "I did...do want this. But-"

Simon frowned. "Then was it what Sarah said? Or the council? Or me? Is that what's bothering you?"

I shook my head. "No, it's just that-"

"We don't have to do those things they said," he exclaimed. "I don't have to be your luna, or have the mark, or adopt, or whatever. You said you wanted this, though. Us, right? Just talk to me. Goddess, you've been acting like a fortress to talk to. I'm right here, Vince. Just tell me."

"I...it's just I've been thinking," I sighed, watching as he rolled his eyes. "I just can't-

He crossed his arms as he looked unamused. "What? You can't what?"

"You. You don't need me," I said, coming off more like a question. "And...and I don't need you."

He huffed. I bit the inside of my cheeks as he narrowed his eyes. "Is that what you think?"

"I can't give you the things you need, Simon," I explained. "You need more, you need the kind of love you deserve."

He blinked, his jaw clenching. He curled his fingers into a fist.

"Someone who knows how to love you." I went on. "And...and I don't think I can be that person."

He shook his head slightly. "If you would just try, Vince-"

"No. This," I stated, gesturing between us. "This can't be...I can't possibly give you that."

"You are a coward. Terrified to get what you want, to chase after what it is that you want, you know that?" He seethed, his voice raised in volume. "You said you wanted this, so why? Why must you keep lying to yourself? To me?"

I huffed. "A lie? I want you to be happy, Simon. I want what's best for you."

"And you think this is it?" He gestured between us. "Pushing me away? Lying to me?

"I just..just wanted to get it right. All I do is fuck it up, ruin the things that were supposed to matter most. I wanted to get this right, Simon. At the very least, this. Us. But I...I-"

"Then what?" He jeered. "You're going to give up? You think that this isn't right anymore?"

I blinked, unsure what to say as he placed his hand on his forehead. "Vince, where is this coming from?"

"I don't think I can be the person to love you," I mumbled pathetically. I took a shaky breath. "I mean honestly, Simon, why couldn't you just hate me? That you don't need me, or that you don't care at all?"

I bit my lip, my eyes filled with unshed tears, as I continued. "Things would've been easier that way."

"Is that it?" He scoffed. "You want me to hate you? To pretend that all this progress we made was for nothing? Is that what you want? To think that you're some terrible person who doesn't have a damn chance at obtaining a modicum of happiness?"