Let Me Adore You (N.H.)

8

29 Days.

A lot can happen in 29 days. Seasons can change. But people mostly don't. This was my advantage. People mostly don't change in a span of 29 days.

Dr. Horan didn't change. He couldn't have changed. Because I didn't.

I needed him as much as I did before, if not more. Was he still interested in me?

I would've loved to find it out, but there was no chance to. That is what I thought until I saw him on day 29, one hour before our lecture. We sat in the common room, talking, eating cookies Jo brought with her. She called them anxiety-cookies because she couldn't sleep. Lucy would be coming over for the weekend after three months of distance relationship.

Winter reached us, making everything a bit colder. How long did he wanted to keep it this way?  I turned my head to look outside the glas door when I saw a man walking past it, long strides. He was determined, taking a look inside the common room just to look away a second later, vanishing from my sight.

He searched for something. For what? 

Refraining myself from thinking about it any further, I turned back around, shoving a cookie in my mouth. At least my appetite didn't leave me these last 29 days. He was so handsome. Just a glimpse of him was enough to take over my mind. Was there a way not to fall for him?

I rose, straightening my clothes. I needed to go to the toilet. Now.

Well, I said that to my friends. And I actually left the room to go to the toilet, I had already grabbed the door handle. I let it go. A strange voice in my brain convinced me to follow Dr. Horan, just to see why he needed to go to the library.

To torture another poor soul?

Trying not to look suspicious, I went directly down the hall to reach the staircase. Taking the same path I took weeks ago. I didn't see him, not on the first nor the second floor. Where was he? My heart beat, threatened to expose me. My breath laboured, but not from climbing upstairs.

I knew he was in this building. Somewhere. Right, I couldn't look for him if he was here on the third floor. My shoes made quiet clicking sounds, calming my stormy mind. I made my way over to the shelves I've went to during my first week in autumn.

There he was. My stomach churns sweetly again, lets me smile. He wore a jacket that nestled up against his shoulders, his hair disheveled. I would've loved to just stand there and look at him.

I continued to walk however, not paying attention to him. My steps got louder, I sensed him looking up. But I had already passed him. A sudden curiosity overcame me, I wanted to know why he really decided to come here. The exact time we met more than a month again. Would he follow me? Did he even recognise me?

I hoped like a child which explored the forest behind the house for the first time, hoping to find something extraordinary or magical. I forced myself to take deep breaths to control my erratic breathing after I grabbed one of the books standing on the shelf. It was a book about economic cycles. Not what I should've searched for but I hat to pretend I was interested in whatever was in there.

Seconds later I heard heavy steps sounding on the ground, coming closer. Nobody else was here. Continuing to be immersed in this book, I relaxed my tensed body. Seconds pass, nothing happened. Maybe this person wasn't Dr. Horan but another student I didn't see when coming upstairs.

A big hand appeared in front of me.

My breath hitched, in contrary to my professor's that brushed against my ear. I felt his body heat on my back and his distinctive scent dazed my senses. Against my better judgement, I decided not to turn around.