Love Me In Secret (Asanoya)

Chapter 11: I've been meaning to tell you...

Asahi's POV:

       Finally, the day was almost over. Each hour felt like double the time it was supposed to be- the last half of the school day seemed to be a week instead of 3 and a half hours.
       It was complete torture. All I needed was to get out of the building, walk home with Sugawara and Daichi, and tell them. That's all. That's all I needed to do to lift this weight off my shoulders.
       I fiddled with my pencil for the entirety of class, barely keeping up with the notes. I also stared at my desk thinking of Nishinoya. Is he doing alright? I hope he's not getting made fun of right now. I wonder if he's going home with Tanaka. If he is then I won't have to protect him. Tanaka is probably more... immune to any of Takahashi's insults.
       I don't even know how Takahashi knew about... him. Did anyone tell him? Or did he just overhear it from someone... no... only a few people know about this. Let's see.. I tried to remember the people who knew.
Mom, Dad, Daichi, Sugawara, and Nishinoya. Unless someone was talking about it and Takahashi was eavesdropping, there wouldn't be any way that he would know.
       I glanced up at the clock for what seemed to be the millionth time. Half an hour left. Half an hour then until I need to confess. I felt anxious. My hands were sweating an awful lot, and I just couldn't keep my head straight with the work. All these things would be cured once I could finally tell them.
Although my worries from before still lingered in the back of my mind, even as I proved them wrong with my current knowledge. Obviously, Sugawara and Daichi wouldn't try and put me in danger my telling my mom, and they are also the most understanding people I have ever met in my life, so there was barely a chance that they wouldn't accept me for who I am.
        Of course, I myself can hardly accept the way I feel about Nishinoya. If there's anyone who's the most in denial it's me.
It was still shocking to me that I could even had thought about developing those feelings. I would seriously never had guessed a week ago that I would realize that being around Nishinoya made me feel like this. A week ago, I wouldn't haves guessed that Nishinoya would take up 78% of my thoughts every day...
I knew deep down that I had no choice but to accept it. If I didn't, the worst possible things could happen. I might've started ignoring him, I might have started forcing myself to like somebody else- a girl-, and I would end up sad because I wouldn't actually like her.
Of course, that's just the worst case-scenario, but I'm not taking any chances, I reminded myself while doodling on the page that was supposed to be for notes.
Well if you're just going to sit there then you might as well try and take notes, my good conscience that was sitting lazily in the back of my mind nagged at me at last. I sighed. I didn't have to listen. But, of course, it would've been quite foolish to ignore a reminder like that, since it's for my own good.
I quit fiddling with my pencil between my fingers and began lazily scribbling down messy, barely legible notes for science class. All I did was copy down what was written on the chalkboard, rather than doing that while simultaneously writing down important things the teacher was talking about. It was good enough.
       Besides, if I needed to know more then I would just ask someone for their notes, which meant I was free to slack for the rest of class.
       I desperately looked back up at the clock above the teacher's desk, hoping against hope that more time had passed. Surprisingly, but also delightfully, it was only 12 minutes until the bell would ring, and I would be free. I suddenly had a burst of excitement and energy knowing the time. I decided to take as much notes as possible to pass the time until the bell rang.
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       I snatched up all of my belongings, quickly and carelessly tossing them into my backpack wherever they could fit, just barely zipping it up as I sprinted out the door towards Daichi's classroom to meet him and Suga.
       My heart pounded in my chest as I avoided bumping into the other people just beginning to step out of their classrooms. The classroom wasn't far, enough so that I had no need to run, but running let some of the anxious energy flow out from me- it was somewhat relieving.
        Daichi was already there, casually leaning is weight against the wall with his leg crossed over the other; his eyes were wide when he saw me speeding towards him. I slowed down quickly, almost stumbling from my sudden decrease in speed, pressing my left arm against the wall to help me come to a complete stop right in front of Daichi.
        "Whoa, Asahi. I don't think I've ever seen you run that fast in the hallway. Is there a fire or something?!" He half joked, shifting his weight back into his two feet and uncrossing his legs. I heaved, the air not seeming to fill my lungs fast enough as my body caught up with itself.
       "No-," I breathed out, "I just felt like running. We've... been out of practice for two days and I don't want to get lazy!" I joked, slipping my backpack straps off my shoulders and dropping it in front of me out of the way of the passerby's while we waited for Suga.
       "You seem really energetic just now. I guess you miss running laps? Or maybe it's just a good day for you," Daichi seemed to be talking it himself; I assumed he was just thinking out loud and didn't answer. To be honest, I did feel a bit more energetic now that I had a task to do. Of course, it was a bit embarrassing to me that he noticed.
"Hey!" Suga called out to us as he trotted down the hall, waving his arm high. We waved back.
"Hey. You guys ready to go? It looks like it might rain, and we don't need another fiasco like Friday," Daichi side glanced at me, then turned back to Sugawara. He chuckled at Daichi.
"Yeah, lets go. Do you guys have homework too...?" Suga inquired, pulling us behind him as if to say hurry up, then releasing his grip once we got going.
"No, not really. Asahi?"
I shook my head, "Not today. Do you have a lot to do?" I wondered if it would take long and I'd have to wait.
"Nah," he swerved to the side to let a few people between us, "it's not easy but it won't really take long."
I sighed, with simultaneous frustration and relief. Frustration that I'd have to wait a bit to tell them, and relief that I'd have time to prepare to tell them. It went both ways.
I pushed the school doors open wide, with enough momentum that Daichi and Suga could walk out behind me without being squashed by the door.
The wind was warm, but the sun was still hiding behind the blockade of clouds in the sky. The deep grey of the clouds was almost intimidating; a reminder that the rainy season was not yet over. I always hated the rainy season, for obvious reasons. But today it looked like the rain wasn't going to fall just yet- we had at least a couple of hours.
We began the walk back to Sugawara's house- it was the prime meeting spot for us three, we had been going there to hangout out after school for two years now, and it wasn't going to change any time soon. It's been like a safe haven for us, somewhere we can be ourselves and talk about whatever (mostly volleyball and school). Which means that it was the perfect place for me to tell them.
The sky kept getting darker and darker as we walked. I started to get worried that we wouldn't make it to Suga's in time- but this time we weren't going to take a detour to my house and that restaurant.
Daichi pat my shoulder. "We'll make it to Suga's. Don't worry," he gave a small smile. I rubbed the back of my neck and smiled back, nodding. It felt nice to hear reassurance....
About 15 minutes later, we finally turned the corner to Sugawara's street, where we would soon be in the comfort of his home. The wind picked up, coldly nipping at any exposed skin we had. Luckily, there was no thunder, but there could have always been some later when the rain started.
"This year," Suga basically had to shout over the wind, "there seems to be more storms than just wind!"
"Yeah. I wonder if we made the sky angry?!" I shouted back. Suddenly I felt my hair fall from it's bun. My hair-tie had been pulled out of my hair from the wind, and as I looked back to try and get it, it was long gone.
I groaned audibly, accompanied by the laughter from Daichi. "This season seems to really have it out for you."
I put up my hood and held it in place to try and contain my loose hair. It would be fine, since I could clearly see Suga's house on the other side of the street from where we were already walking.
"I think Asahi's just having some bad luck for the last two weeks," Suga commented as he watched my hair blow this way and that in my face.
Yeah... bad luck. A lot of bad luck.
The three of us ran up the pathway to the front door of Sugas house, then rushed inside after he unlocked the door to the warmth of his home.
"Phew," Suga remarked as he took his notebooks and textbook out, then hung his backpack up and took his jacket off. I hung mine beside his, and Daichi did the same, making sure he didn't knock our backpacks off the crowded hooks. We slipped off our shoes, then lined them up neatly on the mirroring side from the door to move them out of the way; we then took off our coats and draped them over the hooks with out backpacks.
         I grabbed Suga's textbook from his hand after watching him almost drop it, then brought it to the living room with him and tossed it onto the coffee table. My heart beat fast. I'd have to confess in about half an hour after he was done his homework. I wanted to get it over with already, but it didn't feel right.
         "Hey, my mom bought a few cans of Coke. Want one?" Suga asked.
        "Sure, yes please," Daichi smiled warmly at Suga.
        "Asahi?"
        "Yes... please."
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Nishinoya's POV: