Every End Is A New Beginning (BWWM) (BWAM)

Chapter 18

The chilly fall days Xavier and I spent together quickly transitioned into the frigid days of winter. A light coat of snow covered the ground and the flowers that were once in bloom had already started to wilt. We were no longer able to talk our walks outdoors, a past time that had developed sometimes in November. Instead, Xavier had given me the liberty of decorating the residential part of the home after observing my growing boredom, But after the house was filled to the brim with traditional lace, garland, trees, and ornaments, I found myself returning to the familiar comfort of Xavier's presence.

"Have you got everything packed?" Xavier rubbed my bare back as he slipped his hand underneath my thin shirt. "Remember I want to leave as soon as I'm done. It's a long drive."

"Yes yes. You've been asking me this question all week," I said in between sips of hot chocolate. I readjusted myself on his lap, resting my head against his large frame.

He kissed my head before returning to his never ending stack of papers. I wasn't sure what he was always working on but he took it seriously, occasionally hushing me when I spoke too much.

"Tori you seem to be quite forgetful," he sighed, placing another sheet of paper with his signature onto the "completed" pile. "However I can't tell if you're pretending to forget what I tell you to do or you just have really bad memory."

I raised my eyebrow at him and pursed my lips, "Um I'm pretty sure you can answer that question yourself. When have I ever truly listened to you."

He grinned at me, finally setting the pen aside and looking me in the eyes, "Ah there she goes. I was wondering when you'd give me my usual dose of attitude today."

I rolled my eyes as I downed the last drop of hot chocolate from my mug, "Are you finished working yet? I'd really like a change of scenery for once."

He had a sly smile on his face but didn't answer. He called in one of the guards that stands outside of this office.

"Ronaldo," Xavier greeted him with a serious tone. "We'll be leaving shortly for Positano. Can you pull the car around and load the luggage?"

Ronaldo glanced at my position on Xavier's lap before catching himself. I avoided his gaze, a bit ashamed that other people were seeing me this way.

"Uh, yes boss. I'll do that immediately."

Xavier grunted in response as he held onto my hip tighter. Ronaldo swiftly backed out of the room, gently closing the office door until it clicked shut.

As soon as we were left alone Xavier's mouth find it's way onto my neck, pressing wet kisses towards my ear.

"That bastard," he stated breathily. "He thinks I don't see him. The way he looks at you when he thinks I'm not paying attention."

"Are you seriously jealous Xavier?" I turned my body in his lap so that we were facing each other. "You don't even have anything to worry about. No one in this house would dare defy you."

He pecked my lips, rubbing my jean clad thighs, "Except you for some reason."

"Well I'm not a nobody, am I?" I teased.

The playful vibe I was giving off didn't seem to reach him. Xavier continued to look at me as his hands traveled up my lower back. He didn't seem amused by my behavior but enamored, "No." He sighed dreamily, the corners of his mouth turning up slightly. "You're way more than that."

-

The drive to Positano was five hours long and I spent three of them replaying the words Xavier had said to me in the office. I was unsure if I liked that way he made me feel, both mentally and physically. The tight grasp he had over my emotions scared me half to death. I hated how he easily he could lure me into bed. I hated how made me feel safe. How, dare I say it,  he made me feel loved. But the problem was, I also craved it, I burned for it. And that was the most frightening part of it all.