"i think that i might actually be falling in love with you and it's driving me crazy." christian said, holding vanessa's hands as she looked up at him.
"chris, you can't be serious, you've only known me for like, what? a good two, maybe three weeks?"
"i am, you truly mean the world to me."
she smiled widely, before she broke out into a fit of laughter. christian soon followed, joining her as she doubled over laughing.
"wow, you are good at this whole acting thing. hopefully you get the part." she said, leaning back against the couch. christian sighed, plopping on the couch next to her as vanessa turned the tv on.
he watched her intently as she scrolled through netflix, her lip in between her teeth, concentrating on what to put on for both of their enjoyment. he smiled to himself, feeling his heart flutter when she turned to look at him, a smile of her own on her face.
"what?" she asked, pushing his shoulder slightly as he chuckled and shook his head.
"nothing," he looked over at the tv, "what are we watching?" he asked, changing the topic.
"well, i was planning to watch netflix but i found nothing so we're gonna watch some youtube." she explained as she began to scroll through her recommendations.
she scrolled and scrolled, nothing enticing enough for her to put on until she stopped on a thumbnail of kian. she swallowed hard about to continue scrolling when christian looked at her and at the tv.
"do you want to watch that? because i have no problem with it." he said as she turned and gave him a small smile.
she hasn't spoken to kian in weeks and somehow, just looking at the thumbnail of his face made her heart lurch. she clicked on the video and the anticipation of the little circle going round and round, indicating that it was loading made her heart beat faster.
finally, the video loaded and there on the screen was kian and jc, full on smiles and laughter as they introduced themselves and their plan for the video. vanessa couldn't help but smile whenever she heard kian laugh. his laugh was so genuine and contagious, there was no way someone could contain themselves.
christian turned to look at her bright smile as she was concentrating on the video on the screen.
"am i experiencing you fan girl over your celebrity crush or something?" christian teased making vanessa turn in his direction.
it was barely crossing her mind that christian had no idea who kian was or how much of impact he was on her life. or even how much she was craving to have him in front of her at this very moment.
she shrugged and turned back to the tv.
"something like that." she said. christian just nodded and turned his attention back towards the tv.
vanessa began to play with the hem of the sleeve of her hoodie as she watched the screen intently, taking in kian's features. her heart ached, making her realize that she missed him even more than she thought.
she watched as jc opened a small little box on the screen as he made jabs at kian about being "romantic". in the little box was a gold chain necklace with a small 'k' hanging from it. vanessa's hand flew to her neck, grasping on to the identical chain that hung around her neck.
it was the present that kian had gave her at the airport over two months ago. she remembers opening it in front of him over a facetime call as he eagerly waited for her reaction. she remembers him being so excited and her laughing at his childlike state as her nerves were picking at her.
she remembers as he watched her through the screen as she put it on and promised him that she wouldn't take it off. kian was like a child, bragging to all of their friends about how good the necklace looked on her. she remembers her friends teasing her about it and telling her how happy they were for her.
yet, here she was, the guy she used to be head over heels for—correction—the guy she is still head over heels for, was who knows where, probably moving on without her.
"hey, what's wrong?" christian asked her, pulling her out of her thoughts.
"huh? um, nothing, i'm fine."
"you're crying." he stated, reaching over to wipe her tears. she pulled back slightly, making him stop himself. he pulled his hands back towards his lap before opening up his mouth again.
"i'm guessing he isn't just a celebrity crush." christian stated, the atmosphere between them suddenly changing.
"it's complicated," she said, watching as christian moved uncomfortably in his seat, "i know that we've been getting to know each other-"
"-but you still love him. it's okay, don't worry about it. trust me, i know where i stand." he said, getting up from his seat.
"i didn't say- um, yeah, he's kind of the only person who has been on mind." she confessed, not really to him, but to herself.
christian just nodded as vanessa followed him towards the door.
"i'm really sorry, christian. you're an amazing guy and i would love nothing more than to be friends. it's just, i feel like it's wrong of me to know that i have unresolved feelings for kian and not even trying to fix things." vanessa explained.
"of course, i would never be mad at anyone for trying to follow their heart. plus, being just friends is more than i could ask. just know that, i'll always be around incase you ever need to talk." and with of all those words said, christian smiled sadly at her and left her apartment.
vanessa sadly trudged to her room, thoughts running wild in her head. she was still in shock with herself that she even had the guts to admit that she was thinking about him all the time.
she wrapped herself in her blanket, watching as her phone lit up with a message, but completely ignoring it as another thought came across her mind. christian said that she loved kian and even though she had never even came close to thinking that, she didn't have the heart to correct him.
she had never experienced anything like the feelings she'd experienced with kian with anyone else which only made her come down to one more conclusion:
she didn't correct christian because deep down, she knew that she loved kian.
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a/n: ahhhh, it's about darn time 💀✋🏼
i hope you guys enjoyed this lengthy chapter that was long overdue! i apologize for my inconsistency with updating and for how fast paced these last few chapters have been but we're almost to the end, only a few more chapters to go.
get excited for all the feels and fluff to come that will finally bring our lovers together ;)
