super best boyfriends - a style fanfic - south park

♡︎chapter 5 - stuck♡︎

a/n: this chapter is mostly focused on stan,i will get back to focusing on kyle in the future!
tws: lack of motivation, alcohol abuse, suicidal thoughts, suicide
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Stan's POV:
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I haven't showed up to school in a week, I have no motivation to leave the bed in the morning to get ready, and I don't think anyone really cares.

I'd genuinely be better off dead, 6 feet under. It's not like anyone likes me.

Ive been laying in my bed, drinking beer, and crying all day. I really want to leave Wendy. She's so nice, but so need too. Maybe in a week I will.

I don't want to hurt her, or break her heart, but she's really not my type.

Kyle is my type, I like men. Maybe I have all along. I didn't get much sleep last night, but today I may go to school. My mom bursts in.

"Stanley, you've missed too much school. Please go today. I don't want you to fail the grade."

Ugh, I really don't want to go. School is a nightmare.
But I get to see Kyle at least.

I haven't had motivation to really talk to anyone, so I look down at my phone, I had been oblivious to how many notifications I got.

Kyle! 🌸 - 40 texts
Poor boy - 5 texts

Shit. They are going to KILL me. Eh, who cares.

I sigh, getting my clothes on. I finish getting ready, and take my mom's car to their houses.

Kyle lives closest, so I pick him up first.
"Dude!! You had me worried sick! I thought you died! The last message you sent to me was at 3am on Sunday! It said 'I'm mentally exhausted.' I thought you died!' Thank god you didn't."
He rants to me.

I felt guilt fill my body, and tears pricking at my eyes. Don't cry don't cry don't cry. Why do I care so much if I worried him!!
"Sorry.."
Was all I could spit out.

He hugs me, and I immediately felt better
"Let's go pick up poor boy now!" I giggle.

We arrive at his house, he immediately ran to the car.
"Why the fuck are y'all so late today?-"
He says, gently giggling.

"No reason." I reply, as we drive off.

We finally arrive at the nightmare of a school. I get out and open the door for Kyle, him getting out.

School was boring today, nobody really said too much. There wasn't any drama, and it was like any other day.

I feel emotionally numb, like the only emotions I can feel, ruin me. I haven't felt true happiness in months.

The one source of happiness I have is Kyle. He's like a ray of sunshine..but..he's not always happy. I love him though, and those feelings can't be denied.

Today has been shitty.

I daydreamed for the first 3 periods, and by the time I had my energy focused on something else, it was lunch time.

Kyle didn't really show up today, so it was just Kenny, Butters, and I. I really wanted to tell Kenny, and maybe he could help?

"Hey Ken?" I say.
"Yeah?"
"I think I like Kyle.."
"Holy shit man, really?"
"Yeah.."
"What about Wendy?"
"Idk dude"
"Gosh fella, that's good for you!" Butters joins into the conversation.

I was picking at my food, I've lost my appetite, thinking about the fact that I have one sided love for Kyle.

I look like an idiot around Kyle. It's so dumb. My thoughts continue until last period, and I finally go home. I felt like breaking down.

So that's what I did. My parents aren't home, so I quickly run downstairs, grab some beer, and just CHUG it.

I feel tears prick at my eyes, thinking about how my love is one sided. I'm sobbing, and shaking. Nothing feels right, I can feel myself crumbling.

I know it's stupid, but i love Kyle so much that I'm drinking over him. I'm a fucking train wreck. People would be better off without me, and maybe that's because I'm a terrible person.

Ive decided I can't take it anymore. I go to my room, and climb out my window, and onto the roof. I take a few breaths.

I jump. I did it. I wanted to end my suffering, and I did.

I can feel myself collapsing, my mind going numb, my thoughts showing down, i'm stuck in place. I'm stuck mentally, and physically.

I feel myself shut down, everything going black.

this is a really short chapter!! thank you for reading, also excuse how bad this chapter is.
word count: 786
edit time: i'm not really sure, i think 2 days.