If we never met

Chapter 6 - I love it when the only light is me, you, and the moon

He kissed her.
Without warning, without permission.
Without even deciding to do it,
but simply because he couldn’t
have done anything else.
He needed that breath she was holding.
It belonged to him,
and he wanted it back.

•••

 Her hands touch the sheets as sweat drips down her neck, her voice coming out in sharp needy calls of Shawn’s name when her eyes suddenly open to find him sitting on the edge of the bed. Camila breathes heavily as tears tread to spill from her eyes, reaching over to touch Shawn’s arm to make sure he’s actually there. He takes her hand in his and brings it up to his lips, gently kissing it.

 “ You’re okay, honey. I’m here.” He says softly, trying to calm her down. “ Was that a bad dream?” Camila nods her head as she sits up, a tear finally rolling down her cheek as she wraps her arms around his shoulders. She feels herself relaxing as he holds her,vanishing away the feelings that weird and vivid dream gave her. “ Do you want to tell me what it was about?”

 “ I woke up, but you weren’t here.” Camila whispers as he keeps holding her, her head resting on his shoulder. She doesn’t mention that in her dream she woke up in the room they used to share and not in the guest room. “ I tried to call you, but I couldn’t reach you. No one knew who you were. I was all alone.”

 “ It was just a dream, Mila. I’m here.”  Shawn repeats, running his hand through her long hair.

 “ I know.” She says, trying to ignore the fact that the dream had made her go through her biggest fear at the moment. She might not remember Shawn before the accident, but he became since then the person she trusted and relied on. She might be happy and excited about this pregnancy, but the idea of not having him there throughout that process is the most terrifying thing for her.

 Shawn is about to offer her more comforting words when she suddenly pulls away from him and stands up, running out of the guest room and into the small bathroom they share down the hall. He finds her once again, like he does almost every day, kneeling down in front of the toilet. His hands hold her hair and rub her back like he does every time he finds her like this, then helps her wash her face when she’s done. It’s the middle of the afternoon, but at this point her morning sickness has become more of a any-time-of-the-day sickness.

 “ I’m sorry you have to feel like this.” Shawn says as she uses a towel to dry up her face after brushing her teeth.

 “ Want to switch places?” She asks in a light hearted tone of voice that makes him laugh.

 “ Trust me, I would if I could.” She smiles at his words, feeling her heart doing flips inside her chest because of her growing feelings for him. She’s been out of the hospital for a month and a half by now and it felt both like a lifetime as well as a short period of time for her. How soon is too soon to make a move on your own husband?

 Camila spends the rest of the day painting a cute portrait of Tarzan, who seems to know exactly how to pose for it. She’s been spending a lot more time with her paints and brushes, getting lost in the colors when Shawn is out playing at coffee shops. He wanted to give up playing at bars because he didn’t feel safe leaving her all along during the night time, but he couldn’t exactly afford that because they needed the money, so Taylor, Hailee or Brian would come over whenever he was out and keep her company. It helped her bond again with her friends and they would tell her stories she was yet to remember about herself. As for their financial situation, Camila felt bad for not helping and even though Shawn said she didn’t need to, Hailee set her up with a friend that was looking for an artist to show their work at her gallery. When she first came to LA, she would make money by painting murals and selling her art here and there, but she never actually exhibited her art in such a formal way.