If we never met

Chapter 10 - you put me back together

Hell was the journey,
but it brought me
heaven.

•••

 Reaching for the doorknob, Camila opens the door and walks out of her therapist office into the waiting room, where she can see Shawn sitting down with his phone in hands, bouncing his leg up and down nervously. The second he sees her, he stands up and walks to her taking her hand and kissing her forehead before they say their goodbyes to the front desk girl and walk to the parking lot. It was Shawn’s suggestion for her to start going to therapy and she knew he was right. The doctor had suggested too when she first got out of the hospital, but she didn’t want to. Now she kind of regretted that decision because it was actually something that was helping her a lot. It was only her third session, but she already felt lighter and accepted better the situation she was in.

 “ Today was better, I guess?” Shawn says as he drives away from the clinic, stopping at a red light. After her first two sessions she had come out of the office with tears rolling down her cheeks, but not this time, and she knows he noticed that.

 “ It was.” She whispers, smiling as she keeps her eyes on the people walking in and out of the mall down the street. Her crying had been a result of confronting the painful memories from the accident, but this session was focused more on her relationship with Shawn, so there were no sad tears happening there.

 “ What did you talk about?” He asks curiously, driving down the coast as the sun shines above them. She had already made sure to tell him he was free to ask anything about her sessions if he wanted. She couldn’t see herself not telling him about her progress and her therapist even talked to him alone too the week before to get a better perspective on their unusual situation.

 “ You.” Camila says, looking at him with a smile.

 “ Really?” He says in a playful tone of voice. “ Good things I hope.”

 “ I wouldn’t have a bad thing to say about you even if I wanted, Shawn.” She says in a serious tone of voice even though he was joking when he asked. When he pulls up in their driveway, Shawn takes one of her hands and brings it to his lips, kissing it softly before pulling her for a kiss on the lips.

 “ You’re doing wonders to my ego.” He says with a laugh when she pulls away.

 “ You definitely don’t need it, but it’s true.” She laughs with him before reaching to open the passenger door. “ You’re too cocky already.”

 “ What? I’m not cocky.” He sounds fake hurt when he steps out of the car and helps her do the same.

 “ Whatever you tell yourself.” She says, rolling her eyes as they walk through the front door.

 Tarzan is already there greeting them, barking and wagging his tail. He’s no longer a puppy at this point, maybe in age, but in size he's a full grown golden retriever. Shawn takes him outside for his next pee shift while Camila walks into the kitchen and opens the fridge. She reaches for a bowl of pineapple slices she chopped earlier and a bottle of peanut butter, diving a slice of the fruit in the bottle and eating it. Camila moans at the taste as Shawn walks inside with Tarzan, making fun of her weird combination of food even though they both know she would eat this even if she wasn’t pregnant. She had always been a fan of mixing the most weird foods and Shawn would always make a disgusted face when she made him try.

 When she walks back to their room, she spots Shawn working on taking some stuff away from the guest room. They decided it was time to work on the nursery and had already looked up all the things they would need to buy, but had yet decided on a color. Camila stops by the guest room door, looking at Shawn as he puts some things away in a box.

 “ I’m taking a bath.” She says, making him look up at her. “ You’re welcomed to join me.”

 She walks to the bathroom and runs a bath with some salts Shawn bought for her the day before, then steps out of her clothes and settles herself down in the warm water. When Shawn walks into the room, he takes a moment to admire his very pregnant wife in the water. She has her hair up in a messy bun and even though the bubbles make it hard for him to see clearly, he knows she obviously has no clothes on.

 Camila closes her eyes and rests her head against Shawn’s shoulder once he enters the bathtub and positions himself behind her, her back against his chest as he wraps his arms around her. His hand caresses her stomach softly as she tells him about her therapy session with more details and the subject of the conversation eventually changes until they’re in silence, just enjoying the water and each other’s presence.

 Camila is hyper aware of the fact that they’re both have no clothes on, remembering how she nearly fainted from seeing him undressing before joining her in the bathtub. She feels Shawn’s hand travel up her thigh and in a few seconds he’s touching her just like she wanted him to. What happened on the couch a couple of weeks ago had happened a few other times ever since and it only proved to her she was right about him knowing every little detail about her body. She had yet to reciprocate the favor, but once she reached her high, he helped her out of the bath and they walked back to the room.

 Camila wastes no time in making him feel just as good, knowing she’s about to put down another one of those walls she had up in her mind when it came to their relationship. By the time they’re done, Shawn holds Camila in his arms as she feels like she never felt that high before. The tension built up between them for all those months resulted in what had probably been one of the most amazing experiences of her life and she felt kind of glad she waited so long instead of letting her hormones speak louder.

 “ What about yellow?” Shawn asks as she’s still painting, her head against his chest.

 “ What?” She asks, confused by his words.

 “ For the nursery.” He says with a laugh. “ It’s neutral.”

 “ I like that.” Camila says, tilting her head up to look at him. “ What if we waited until the end to know if it’s a boy or a girl?”

 “ Really?” He asks in surprise. “ I mean, that sounds interesting. Do you really want to?”

 “ Yes. I like the idea of it being a surprise.” She says with a smile as he runs his fingers through her now messy hair. 

 Camila stands up after a while to pee and when she comes back he’s still laying down on the bed. He had an arm over his face, but she can see he’s smiling, so she walks back to the bed and sits down on the mattress next to him, placing a kiss on his chest.

 “ Shawn?” She whispers with hesitation, watching as he removes his arm from his face and looks at her.

 “ Yeah, honey?” His voice still manages to make her heart skip a beat.

 “ I love you.” Her voice is barely a whisper, but he hears it loud and clear.

 “ I love you too, Camila. So much.” He says, sitting up and pulling her for a slow lingering kiss.

 “ I have no idea how you managed to do this, but you made me fall in love with you all over again.” She whispers, taking his face in her hands. “ You’re magical. I mean it.”

 “ You’re pretty magical too, Mila.” He whispers as she rests her forehead against his. “ I can’t believe it either. I was so scared I would never be able to feel your love again, but you just keeps amazing me with this beautiful heart of yours.”

 Moments like this almost make Camila wish she would never get her memories back. Things have been perfect apart from her recollection of the car accident, so she can’t help feeling scared of things changing if she remembers everything else. What if her heart doesn’t feel the same way after her mid gets to know everything? Life was good at the moment and she didn’t want to ruin that.