My Little Flower

Too Good To Be True

*5 months later*

I looked out the bus window. The seats were a pain in the ass, literally.
My butt ached because of the barely patted seats. The person behind my had their window open which made my hair fly all over.

I just want to be home. Our bus slowed down as we started to drive up a mountain.

I don't like spending my morning on a bus filled with high schoolers that act like kindergardeners, at 6 in the morning.

Our bus finally climbed the top of the hill. This was always the best part of the ride, not that there was much to love, but this I did love. The view was of the crease of two mountains and the sun laid perfectly in between them, slowly raising up.

Now we were passing my old Middle School. The memories flashed back.

Me and Darcy reenacting Rose and Jake from Titanic at the peek of the parking lot loft. Everything hit me, the love,
the hate,
the sad,
the happy,
the angry,
then the confusion,
and being scared.

Everything that shaped me to what I am now. I put my head down. Then I remembered what my dad told me, " never put your head down, it shows weakness and you're not weak". That was the last thing he told me when he was on his death bed.

My life has been weird, but not depressing, just very challenging. I like to tell myself the positive things about life. Like if I saw roadkill I'd say, at least it's in a better place now. Or if I have tons of homework........

Ummm, better education, I guess.

There's always some good in bad and some bad in good, you just gotta look hard enough.

***

After a half an hour we finally arrived at my school.

Once I got to school I walked towards the way my little group always was, and I say little group because that's exactly what we were.

We've all (and by 'we've all' I mean all of us from Middle School) have grown apart and started to hang out with new people. So our group has shrunken into just me, Jenny, and Bethany.

Everyone else slowly drifted off to another crowd.

As for my crush, I have gotten no where with him. He hasn't talked to me since the first day, and I'm too afraid to talk to him.

Why you would ask, well because Matthew is straight up gorgeous. Plus he belongs in the popular crowd, and I think we all know the only thing that goes through their minds.

Matthew could be different but that's too good to be true.

So every time he comes by to check my homework off I get nervous and try my best not to look like it.

Thing is, I don't know what it is about Matthew, but there's something that makes me crazy for him, I just don't know yet.

I think about all this as Jen and Bethany talk about class and their crushes.

"So.... Chris", Jen says as I immediately snack out of it.

I look at her.

"Do you have any crushes?", She says once more.

"Maybe.....", I say not wanting to finish my sentence.

"Tell us!", Bethany almost screams.

"I don't think you know him, but he's a Sophomore and his name is...", I stopped as I leaned in closer to them.

"Matthew", I finish.

They think about it but once they finally stop Jen says," I hope he's as hot his name sounds".

"Oh trust me", I reply laughing to myself.

"Have you guys talked", Bethany questions.

"Not since the bargaining of the year. He sorta just started ignoring me", I say.

They pause not knowing what to say.

"Most men are stupid", Jen says braking the silence.

"If I could somehow stop liking him I would, trust me, it would prevent me from all the madness having a crush comes with, but.... Its not easy to fall in love with someone then make them disappear as if they never ment nothing to me", I say pretty much summing up all my feelings for Matt.

The bell wrung before anyone could answer.

"Saved by the bell", I say giggling.

They both laughed.

"See you later Chris, and I wish you luck with your boy crush", Bethany said trying to comfort me.

"Thanks Beth", I reply.

"Bye guys", Jen says as we all went our separate ways from each other.

I walked upstairs to my class. As I took a seat at my desk I could see Matthew walking into class from the corner of my eye.

This God damn boy.

He took his seat in the back where all the tutors sat. After awhile of me pretending I was cool by going on my phone and ignoring everyone, class started.

My very suspicious teacher began to talk. The class began to silence themselves at the sound of his voice.

Mr Conally said," as usual I'll have the tutors go around and stamp your work and we'll start today's lesson".

I panicked at the thought of Matthew coming near me again.

Noooooooooo, I thought to myself as I sighed.

As the tutors were checking off homework the teacher continue to talk.

"So who's going to the game tonight?", He asked the class.

A large amount of people raise their hands. Including the teacher.

Oh shit, I forgot about the game tonight.

Mr Conally took a glimpsed at me.

Okay then, creepy man.

Everyone put their hands down.

I felt Matthew's presence and I knew he was near. I positioned my homework to the side of my desk where he would pass by. As usual it was silent. No words exchanged, just plain silence.

He moved to the next student, I picked up my homework.

Why oh why did this have to happen to me.

I've fallen in love with a boy I can't have.

At least tonight I can get things off my mind while watching our football team go against our rival school.