chemical confusion.

chapter one

july 27th

   "mileena we have to go!" my dad yells.

   i stand in the middle of my room staring and taking in all of the minor details i once overlooked. the roof has a faint red mark of paint from when my twin brother and i got into a fight when we were eight. i was painting one of my littlest pet shops when caï (pronounced sigh) threw it upwards calling my hobbies "dumb." to put things in the simplest of terms, i utilized my karate skills and beat the shit out of him.

then, i noticed the marks on the wall from when my parents measured our growth. it's completely unfathomable how we were once so tiny & now, are so big. i mean, cai's almost a fucking giant.

   i began analyzing the lines more and remembered how my mom would look at us with so much love, admiration, and happiness charting our growth. we had an older sister who passed away when she was one, so my mom was really grateful to see us grow even if it meant we were getting older. she was never able to see rosie grow. i wish i could've met her. flashbacks of my mother's death hit me and i can't help but cry. i hope she gets to see rosie grow now. wiping away my tears, i begin to scan and reminisce some more.

   footsteps come bolting from the steps and snapping me out of my trance caï walks in. "leena, what the hell come on! xavier is losing his mind staying in one spot and symere won't stop bothering me," he says while looking at me. his face resembles mines greatly. we have the same eyes, nose, and cheekbones which we got from our mom. he got our dad's lips and i got my mother's. "have you been crying?"

  i realize more tears had fallen from my eyes. "i can't believe this is all happening. there's so much going on at once it feels like," i say. caï walks over to me giving me a comforting hug.

   "i feel you, really. so many changes in such a short period of time. it's hard to process, but we really have to get going. you won't ever forget about this house though, we've recorded and taken pictures of every room, remember?" he keeps his arms around me while saying this. although caï can be a teenage dirtbag, he's really a softie.

   we stand in my room for a little while longer before i speak. "yeah. yeah, you're right. i'm sorry, it's just, you know i hate change," i sniffle.

   "it's okay leena. it's okay to be sad or angry," he sighs. i feel a tear hit my shoulder and look up at him.

   before this last year i never saw caï cry so much. i mean of course when we were younger and he broke his arm that one time. then that other time, then another, you catch my drift. but other than those moments he was never a crier. our mom's death hit him hard and he's finally let his emotions out. i squeezed him hard and decided we had to let the house go. "you know what, that's enough crying. we can't both be crying right now," i laugh. "let's go," i say while grabbing his hand and walking out and down the stairs. he laughs with me and his lanky body follows me.

   "oh thank god! i almost thought you guys were going to stay here forever and protest us moving," my dad says exhaling deeply.

   "we had to be nostalgic for one last time dad," caï chuckles.

   "we did that for hours last night! my brain can't handle that much thinking and looking back!" symere yells.

   we all laugh at his lack of brain cells and i push him through the door one last time taking in the feel of the house. it's a bittersweet moment, but it had to happen. dad squeezes my shoulder as we walk to the car.

   "i'm sorry mileena. i just needed to leave this house in order to be a good father for all of you. there's too much pain in their and this town. i hope you understand."

   "it's okay dad. this is just as hard on you as it is for us. probably even harder," i empathize as he puts xavier in his car seat. he doesn't have to feel guilty. once he settles xavier down he kisses the top of my head.

   "thank you bug." bug is the nickname he gave me when i was little. it used to bug me (see what i did there ahaha *bites lip aggressively*) but now it brings me comfort.

   i hop into the car and settle down to get ready for our drive. caï called shot gun right as i was going to sit in the front. fuck him, i wanted to be in control of the aux. once he takes his seat he turns around and i flick him off, he just sticks his tongue out.

   "we are switching seats in two hours, bastard," i say.

   "bastard!" blurts xavier.

   well fuck.

   symere laughs at our three year old brother mimicking my words, as does caï.

   "what did i say about saying cuss words infront of xavier?! he's like a parrot and will say anything you say!" my dad yells. although he's angry, he laughs a little. it's nice to see his features soften from time to time. his once happy demeanor has shifted a bit after mom died, and slight wrinkles have formed on his face.

   i turn to the little parrot and tell him not to say that word ever again. mom would've gotten so angry if she heard him say that. once i'm done scolding the three year old i turn to face the window and giggle. it was sort of funny.

   "sooooooo," symere drones "how long is it going to take us to get to the heffley's again?"

   "almost four hours," informs our older brother.

   symere slumps into his seat dramatically while his curly hair bounces. he looks just like our dad only with mom's cheekbones. she sure did us good with those godly cheeks. i playfully turn to him and pretend to pray. we all know this trip is going to be a bit of a disaster.

   the heffley's are a good family friend of ours. my mom was best friends with susan aka the mom. my dad and frank then also became best friends after being introduced to one another. they have three sons. rodrick, greg, and manny. last time we saw them caï and i were nine alongside rodrick. the boys were the bestest of friends. i didn't join in on their fun though cause they bullied me like the dipshits they were. that was a whole seven years ago but they remained in contact. i on the other hand did not. i already had to deal with caï so why was i going to make it worse on myself?

   the heffley's just moved to maryland four months ago after rodrick got expelled from his last school for something i do not remember. what was so bad that he had to get expelled? it couldn't have been that bad since i forgot it, right?

   dad thought it would be a good decision to move to maryland after mom died. he had no help in pennsylvania so it makes everything easier for him. i just hope this move will be good. i really do.

   i untangle my earbuds and put them into my ears as i open the spotify app and hit shuffle. the first song that plays is "greengreengreen" by chase atlantic.

   "let's get this show on the road," dad whoops.

"are we there yet?" symere jokes.

"don't start with that already!" groans caï.

"are we there yet?" mimics xavier.

i turn my volume all the way up and i see caï reaching over to his phone rapidly to play music. here we go. four hours of hell.

a/n-
hiiiiii :)))) soooo this is the first chapter of chemical confusion & i rlly hope you all enjoyed it! i didnt proof read it btw so if there's any mistakes pls lmk! i would rlly appreciate it if you voted and told me what you think abt the first chapter :p i mentioned mileena's mother's death a lot but never explained it. i want to keep it a secret for a littlleee bit longer. also, if anything's confusing tell me so i can either explain or add more detail into the story. okie bye bye see you next chapter♥︎

ps- this chapter is a bit shorter than i would've liked but it's only the first one and i didn't want to put too much into it. i'm expecting the other chapters to be longer, but lmk if you like them this length :)