Everything Changes // Fred Weasley

chapter 26: fishing in the greenhouse

March 11th, 1995

That thought was all that consumed my mind from that point forward. I couldn't seem to think about anything else at all.

Could I actually be in love with Fred Weasley?

The way I felt towards him was unlike any feeling that I had ever had before. I thought I was in love with my fifth grade boyfriend. I thought I was in love with Leonardo DiCaprio. I thought I was in love with James.

But if what I was feeling now was love, then all those other times had to be something different.

Infatuation?

Lust?

And was it too soon? We had only just started dating, would he shy away from me the moment I expressed my true feelings? Did he feel the same way towards me?

Fred made all of my past relationships seem insignificant. I didn't care that I had wasted good years on dumb boys who never truly loved me back. If this is what was waiting for me at the end of all of those relationships, I would go through the pain and heartbreak a million times over, just to guarantee being with Fred.

I wanted to talk to Naomi about it, to ask her what she thought about my little problem. She and George had been in love forever, even before they had officially started dating, but Fred and I still hadn't told anyone we were together. Despite the thoughts I had about revealing our relationship, how it would make so much sense to just tell someone, I still had my doubts. I was still terrified that something would go wrong the minute I told someone else. I felt as though my entire world would just crash and burn as soon as someone knew, all because I was dating Fred Weasley.

I tried to push these thoughts out of my head. If I really was in love with him, there was no way I could tell him, at least not anytime soon. And I didn't trust myself to keep yet another secret, so I made a point to avoid being alone with Fred. As much as it pained me to be away from him so often, to miss our nights in the greenhouse, or our walks around the castle, I knew that this was what was best for our relationship. If I couldn't keep my mouth shut, I would try my hardest to avoid any opportunities that might arise where I would listen to my heart instead of the very calculated moves that my brain had conjured up.

But sometimes, I couldn't avoid being alone with him. Sometimes, he would whisk me away to some hidden corner of the castle and make me feel like we were the only people in existence.

Sometimes, I even thought that he would be the one to say it first.

In the silence between laughs.

The pauses in the middle of sentences.

The way his mouth opened slightly every time I said something terribly stupid.

But he never did. So I never did either.

"There you are Walters." Fred said as he hopped over the couch in the common room, wrapping his arm around my shoulder. I pulled away quickly. It was the middle of a Saturday. I was only in the common room because I was tired of being in my own dorm, plus Naomi was spending the day with George up in his room, so I had the entire castle to myself.

Still, I couldn't risk being seen close to Fred like that. If only for Naomi's reputation. If someone knew Fred was Fred and not George, everyone would think Naomi was a dirty cheater, and I couldn't have rumors spread like that because of my own selfish wants.

"Here I am." I smiled, wishing I could lean my head on his shoulder. Instead I crossed my legs.

He leaned over towards me, his face mere centimeters from mine. My heart rate began to speed up.