Everything Changes // Fred Weasley

chapter 28: hidden bottles of fire whiskey

Ever since Christmas break, my mind had been flooded with all of the what ifs. Even when it didn't seem like they should be bothering me, they were still there, lingering in the back of my mind, preventing me from being fully there. It got worse after the second task, when the what ifs became even greater.

What if I had drowned in the Black Lake?

What if I actually was a witch?

What if I someone learned my true identity?

What if...

I had to do something to get them out of my head. It was becoming too much to handle.

I knew that I should talk to someone, to lessen the burden on myself, but I hated the thought of putting all of these problems on someone else. Fred had told me that he would always listen if I wanted to get something off of my chest. But this wasn't some stupid little problem like my constant feuding with Jules. I could talk to him about that for hours and he would agree with me the entire time.

This was different. This was so much heavier.

I knew that Fred would listen no matter what I had to say, but I didn't want to burden him with all of the things that were weighing down on me. I didn't want to push him away. He didn't do anything to deserve this weight, all he did was offer to hang out with me at the beginning of the year when I had no one else to hang out with. It wasn't his fault that it had spiraled so quickly into something real. He never knew that this is what he would be getting into, dating me.

I pulled off my headphones that had been blasting one of my favorite albums on repeat that usually got me out of depressive episodes like this. I thought that would have worked, but it only made my existential dread even worse as each song reached its end. There was only one thing that I knew would help me get over that lurching feeling in my stomach, and I knew that Fred had a stash hidden under his bed.

I climbed out of bed and glanced at my dormer. The curtains were drawn, I couldn't bring myself to stare out at the lake anymore. What once stood as a reminder of all the good that had happened to me in the past year, moving to Hogwarts, strengthening my relationship with Naomi, meeting Fred, now stood as a reminder of the worst day of my entire life.

I pushed the memory of the lake deep down, as I always did when I started to resurface, and I slipped into my shoes and made my way down the stairs and back up to Fred and George's room. I knew that Naomi was in there, since she always spent her evenings hanging out with the boys on days that she didn't go to class, so I didn't have to worry about running into her in the common room.

I didn't bother knocking on the door, there was no way I would be interrupting anything, since my quick glance into the common room told me that Fred and Lee were both in their room.

"Umm, hey?" Fred said as I barged into the room. I ignored him, my mind was focused on one thing and one thing only.

The Fire Whiskey sitting in the box underneath Fred's bed.

I pulled the box out, still not listening to Fred or George's questions, asking me what was going on. They would realize soon enough. Fred had four bottles sitting under his bed. I knew he wanted to save one of them for his birthday, which meant the other three were fair game. I popped the top off of one of them and slid the box into the middle of the room before plopping myself onto the bed next to Fred.

"I just needed a drink." I said before taking a large swig of the Fire Whiskey. It burned as it went down, making my eyes tear up a bit, but I could easily see past that when I thought about how good I would be feeling soon.