But i was alive -young Remus Lupin

pain

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<high enough- K Flay>

*now*

She rushed into Lupin's office as she heard painfull groans coming from there. She felt her blood pulsing as she opened the door to see him sitting on the floor in terrible pain. But he had no wounds. She knew the full moon was tonight but she didn't know it would be that bad. He looked at her with fear and surprise. He didn't want her to see him like that.

"Okkk" she said as she sat on her knees next to him. What was she gonna do? "Is it the full moon?" She asked.

The terrified look on his face amplified when he found out she knew. She realised what she did and said:
"Of course I know. Don't worry, your secret is safe with me."

He stuggled to form some words: "I took the potion Snape made me, as usual and I don't know what happened. Go find him, please!"

"Yes." She got up and left in a hurry.

*2 minutes later*

She knocked at the door. It was almost like she was hitting it, but let's call it a loud knock. Severus opened the door with a confused look: "What?"

"Remus is sick. He is in terrible pai-" she stopped talking as she saw the small smile in the corner of his mouth that he was trying to hide.

"You did this", she realised. "Why the fuck would you do this?! WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO?!" she was so angry and it was killing her that she couldn't control herself. Something that never happened before.

"I knew this was gonna happen. You were gonna come and ask me for help"

"And now you are going to ask for something in exchange"

"Exactly! I am gonna go straight to the point, I assume you are in a hurry. I want you to help me. I am a spy and you know every secret. And as I noticed how much you cared about that creature, even though you don't show it, I couldn't find a better way to convince you."

"Nooo" she thought.

"You probably guessed by now, but I'm gonna say it loud: I want you to become a spy. I want you to pretend to be a Death Eater. I read your mind, I know what happens at the end of the book. I want to make sure I live. And now you may ask: why not go to heaven, why not see Lily? I am not going to heaven. Until I see her again and tell her everything I wanted to tell her before she passed away, I can't go to the other side."

"Unfinished buisness"

"Indeed. Spirits from heaven can't meet ghosts. I need to stay alive until I see her." Those last words fell out of his mouth like rocks. What if she said no? "But she wouldn't let him die.", he thought.

"THAT POTION IS GONNA KILL HIM?" He forgot he taught her everything he knew about legittimacy. But he was still more powerful than her.

"Agree or not?" He said, trying to sound serene. He started to realise what he did. Now he was the monster. But he couldn't go back now

"Agree." She said fermly. How od: she was the type of person that got attached easily and would give her life for that person, but she didn't show affection.

"You won't become one now. First, you need to finish your training. In a few months, you will have to start prooving that you are on Voldemort's side. I will tell you what to do then."

"And noww??? He's dying and I'm not in mood for your words game." She fought the urge to punch him.

He picked up a little bottle, saying:
"If you change your mind, I will drop in his potion the same thing that I dropped this time, except it's gonna be more. If he stops taking the potion and you change yor mind, I will make sure it falls in his food. If you tell anyone about our agreement, the same thing wil happen."
He handed her the little bottle. "Make him drink all of it. The potion I first gave him is only letal after 2 hours, but you better hurry, in case he took it earlier."

She rushed to Remus's office. She gave her all the liquid in the bottle. After a few minutes, the pain dissapeard. She didn't tell him about what she did. She knew he couldn't bare the pain and would blame himself for what happened. Maybe Snape was right, she really started to care about him.

I went to Severus's office to take a look. Don't get me wrong, I was also mad, but then I saw him crying uncontrollably. He couldn't belive what he did. He was so sorry. He wouldn't kill Remus. The potion he gave him only provoked pain, but what he did to her. That was unforgivable. He needed to fix his mistake.