harry
i throw open my front door, storming through my house, heavily huffing and sighing. the thought of cal touching eve in ways only i could touch her when we were together has left me feeling conflicted. i can't bring myself to accept this ever happening, and although it felt slightly obvious, i simply thought she would never admit it. i didn't go out and meet her today with the intention of any of this happening and i feel guilty for leaving her alone like that, but i need to think. "you alright?" cal questions me, losing his focus from the tv.
"nah, mate. i'm not." i shake my head, now standing still.
"what's wrong?"
"just a bit pissed off." i raise my eyebrows which causes cal to look up at me with a puzzled expression. "i didn't think eve would admit to having sex with you."
"look, harry," he breathes in deeply, standing up, "i'm sorry brother." he shakes his head, accepting his mistakes.
"but you like her?" i question.
"well. yeah. but i know i shouldn't." he mutters, "i just spent a lot of time with her."
"alright." i mumble, beginning to walk away.
"nah, wait, wait!" he calls after me, "look, boggo. it's not a thing anymore, she's way too hung up on you man. if i'm honest, i think she just used me as a rebound." he shrugs his shoulders, gesturing to himself, "i'm actually sorry."
"i'm off to bed." i sigh.
"it's two in the afternoon harry." he glances at me with a worried expression, "sit and watch football with me."
"just wanna go to bed." i shrug my shoulders.
"mate, i'm really sorry."
"yeah. you both are. it's just a piss take, because i cried to you about her and you still went and did that?" i mutter, spinning on my heel to walk away from the situation, but i instantly stop in my tracks. "i fucking knew you liked her." i narrow my eyes at him, now shaking my head. i drag my weight along the floor and to my bedroom. i push all my weight into the door, opening it and then slamming it behind me. scrambling over the mess, i unzip my coat and throw it to the floor as i grab my phone and launch myself into bed.
i had a lack of sleep last night, anticipating what could have been spoken about with eve today and now i instantly regret losing sleep over this situation. i regret going to see her because of what she admitted, which has now left me confused and frustrated. frustrated with both of them for thinking they could hide such a thing from me, annoyed that they thought going behind my back thinking it wouldn't phase me when i'm still in love with her.
no matter how hard i try to move on, i can't. from the very moment i met her, i knew she was the one and i've come to accept that my first impression was correct. but bringing myself to take her back has crumbled to pieces, it almost feels humiliating to know that she had sex with my best friend. but him pushing her away because she still can't get over me makes me somewhat hopeful for something else. i just can't bring myself to go on from here, could i even trust them together? because no matter how much i love her and want her to be mine again, what if they get up to no good behind my back. it strikes fear in me. but i never want eve and i to argue like we used to, the lack of trust, the jealousy, the anger - it all needs to remain in the past. which is why i now need time to think about her and cal.
my eyes begin to drift off into a slumber, but my mind remains awake and running, not allowing me to properly fall asleep no matter how exhausted i am. i debate with myself as to whether i should contact her, to apologise for the way i reacted, but why does she deserve an apology from me? i fucked random girls, but she fucked my best friend and now i feel like a laughing stock to both of them.
a/n
it's short, SORRY
