Love You Enough

Seven

When Stevie woke up the following morning, she found Lindsey's side of the bed to be empty. Slightly disappointed, she reached for her glasses to take a look at the time - 2 pm. No wonder that he wasn't around, anymore. She sighed heavily and made her way into the bathroom to take a shower.

Today was a day off for the band, and she was actually really happy about it. The events of the last couple of days were still heavily weighing upon her mind. She shouldn't have kissed Lindsey last night. Heck, she shouldn't have even let him enter her suite after they had come back from dinner. But as usual, Lindsey had said and done the exact right thing to make all her reservations crumble to dust, and she had let him stay. She wasn't going to lie and pretend she didn't enjoy his company - because she did, a lot actually. She could still remember that he had held her close all night, still felt the soft tiny kisses he had placed all over her hair and face when he thought she had already fallen asleep.

No, the problem was not that she didn't like it but that she liked it too much. Sleeping next to him for two nights in a row had given her a sense of security she had not felt in what felt like forever. Quite frankly, it had always been like that with him, and that was probably the reason why they had never truly managed to stay away from each other in the first place. Being with Lindsey felt like coming home. The smell of his cologne, the sound of his voice, the taste of his lips, his piercing blue eyes that could see right through her, it all was familiar and soothing in a way nothing else could ever come close to. And the fact that she had started to actually crave his presence scared her to death. Because she knew it wouldn't last, it couldn't last.

Christine was right. Even though, they were on tour and could pretend to do whatever they liked, by the end of the year, Lindsey would go back to his wife. A much younger woman he had married and managed to build a home and have three children with. And she would go back to what? An empty house? To making a new record to take her mind off of her loneliness?

No, this had to stop. And it had to stop before she was going to fall in love with him. It had already happened too often, they had reconciled and within a blink of an eye, it had all fallen apart, again. Because that was just the problem with them, they loved too deeply and it became too much for either of them to handle. As much as she always insisted that Lindsey was the possessive jealous one in their ever-present relationship, if she was being totally honest, she was just as possessive of him, just as jealous whenever a woman just dared to take look at him twice.

She could still vividly remember how her stomach had churned whenever she had been forced to watch him interact with one of his many girlfriends, when they had wiggled their little asses on top of his lap, had giggled into his ears, groped at him as if he belonged to them. But none of them had ever known that at night, when they had already fallen asleep, it was her door he had knocked at, her bed he had slept in and her lips he had kissed goodnight after they were done rolling on top of the bedsheets for several hours.

And still, it didn't matter. They weren't thirty, anymore. And today, she was going to tell him just that. That it was nice as long as it lasted but wouldn't happen, again. Because most likely, her very similar words from the night before had lost their meaning after she had kissed him and fallen asleep in his arms. Lindsey had always had great talent for turning her into putty in his hands. He'd look at her with those eyes, say exactly what she secretly wanted to hear, and her resolve crumbled. It always did. She herself was surprised that they had managed to stay out of each other's beds for so long.

Stevie was just about to rinse the shampoo out of her hair when Lindsey's voice ripped her out of her thoughts. "I'm back. Oh, you're awake. Steph? Where are you?"

She cursed under her breath, quickly finished her shower and turned off the water to step out and wrap a towel around her body. It all happened just in time before the bathroom door opened up with Lindsey standing in its frame, "Oh, here you are. I was out for a walk and got us some coffee. Oh, and breakfast." He held up a bag from one of London's best bakeries, a wide grin upon his face.