Love You Enough

Fourteen

Stevie couldn't stop crying. Ever since, John had told them that doctors had found an early-stage tumour in his colon during his last check up, the waterworks just wouldn't stop.

When Stevie had burst into tears as soon as the devastating news had left his mouth, John had wrapped an arm around her shoulders, awkwardly patting her back while explaining that it wasn't as bad as she might think it was, that the tumour had been found early and he just needed surgery to have it removed. And even though, it was pretty obvious just how uncomfortable John was feeling because of her emotional outburst and his absolute abhorrence for being the center of attention, she had wrapped him into a tight hug and just cried right into his chest as if he was on the brink of death. John had just held her, his eyes moving from Mick to Lindsey in a silent plea for help, until Mick eventually managed to free him out of Stevie's grasp and get her to drink a glass of water.

As she was standing underneath the shower head in her hotel room about two hours later, hot water running down her body, she could still vaguely remember how both Mick and John had talked insistently to her, trying to get her to understand that John wasn't about to die but just needed some time off of touring to heal from his upcoming surgery in two weeks. Lindsey on the other hand, had sat there just as shocked as her, not a single word escaping his mouth as he stared straight ahead, completely lost in his thoughts.

As she visualized the expression upon his handsome face, a fresh set of tears welled up in her eyes, her throat closing up once again, as she sank down on the tiled floor of the luxurious shower stall. She couldn't even remember the last time she had actually cried in the shower, let alone sat naked on the floor while doing so, but it was happening. She knew this wasn't just about John's illness, but something about these news had made her realize, that even though all four of them liked to convince themselves otherwise, they were not only getting older but pretty much running out of time at this point. As if that was not enough already, Lindsey's previous comment about his wife finding out about their affair was making her stomach turn and seeth with anger at the same time. She wasn't even able to decide who she was more angry at, Lindsey or her stupid naive self that fell for his beautiful words once again.

---

At the same time, unbeknownst to Stevie's current condition, Lindsey was standing in front of her hotel suite and knocking at the door. He knew she was inside since he could hear some music playing, but was most likely ignoring him, as he pleaded in a soft low voice for her to open up and talk to him, "Steves? Please, I'm sorry. You know, I didn't mean it like that. Can you open the door? Baby, I-"

"Seems like she doesn't want to see you, mate."

Lindsey jumped slightly as he heard a familiar voice interrupting him, and turned around to see John standing only a couple feet behind him. "Yeah, she, umm, probably can't hear me over the music."

John smiled knowingly. He knew this pair way too well. It wasn't the first time he had found Lindsey in front of his ex-girlfriend's door, pleading and begging for her to talk to him. "Listen, I have no idea what the hell is going on between the two of you, and honestly, I don't think I even want to find out, but I am pretty sure I haven't heard you calling Stevie 'baby' in a really long time, so... I guess I can figure it out." When Lindsey didn't answer him but closed his eyes and slowly shook his head, John placed his hand on his shoulder sympathetically, "Still that bad?"

"She drives me nuts.", the younger man confirmed and sat down on the floor, his back leaning against the wall behind him while he brought his knees up to his chest.

John sat down next to him. He didn't really know what to say, so he just decided to keep Lindsey some company. The whole scene reminded him a lot of the making of the Rumours album, with the only exception that a whole lot more alcohol had been involved. Back then, Christine and Stevie had almost simultaneously decided to end their relationships. Naturally, he and Lindsey had not accepted it but thought that camping in front of their exes' doors with booze and pot while confessing their undying love for them was a great idea to win the two women back.

"I said some stupid shit, and now, she doesn't want to talk to me, anymore," Lindsey suddenly started to open up. "I know it was wrong and I didn't even think about it. It just slipped out, you know. I apologized but I think I really fucked things up this time."

"You mean more than the last ninety-five times?", John asked with a grin which caused Lindsey to chuckle.

"Yeah."

"So, you two are really.....?", John trailed off but he didn't need to end his sentence for the other man to know what he was talking about.

Lindsey nodded, "Yeah."

"Does anybody know?"

"Only you.", Lindsey replied, then added, "Oh, and Chris. Unless, Mick knows too, but decided no to say anything yet, which would be the biggest surprise of my whole life."

His words caused John to laugh. Even though, Mick was his best friend of many years, no one could deny that the guy talked way too much way too often, especially when his opinion was neither wanted nor needed in the slightest. "So, you and Kristen broke it off?"

Lindsey's head shot up as he stared at his friend after asking that question. "N-no.", he confessed eventually.

"Oh..." It was pretty obvious that the new turn this conversation had just taken was making John extremely uncomfortable. "I- Maybe I should leave."

When Lindsey watched John trying to get back up on his feet, he was quick to reach for his arm and stop him, "It's not what it looks like."

"Well, unless you and your wife have some kind of deal about sleeping with other people I don't know about, I'm sorry to tell you that it's exactly what it looks like, Lindsey.", John said in a calm tone, "Listen, you're my friend, we've been through a whole lot of shit together and I will keep your secret to myself, I promise. But you need to figure this out. It's going to blow up in your face, things like that always do, so better take control over the situation before it controls your whole life."

Lindsey looked up at him and slowly shook his head before admitting, "I don't know what to do."

"Figure it out, man.", John said as if it was the easiest thing to do, "Weigh up what you really wholeheartedly want, then make a decision."

"That's just the problem. I have no idea what I want.", Lindsey said honestly, "This is not an easy decision to make. I don't even know what Stevie and I are doing."

"Really?", John asked with a furrowed brow, "Are you actually trying to tell me that after forty years of the same back and forth with that woman, you two still haven't figured it out?"

"I doubt you know Stevie on the same level as I do. She's not easy, John.", Lindsey said, slightly hurt.

"And you are?!", John shot him a pointed look.

"You know what? I don't need this. You can go. I won't hold you hostage here any longer."

John sighed loudly but before he could open his mouth to reply, the door to Stevie's suite opened up all of a sudden. Both men looked up, Stevie's eyes turning wide as she realized just who those voices belonged to she had heard talking in front of her door.

"Talk to her.", John said sympathetically, before standing up, wishing Stevie a good night and walking down the hall to his own hotel room.