Love You Enough

Twenty-Three

65 days. 65 days had gone by since Stevie had spoken to Lindsey. He had not come by once, had not even had the decency to call, write or leave a message on her answering machine. No, just nothing.

Saying she was disappointed was an understatement. She felt crushed, absolutely devastated by his behavior. This was definitely not how she had envisioned things to go after their emotional goodbye. The first couple days without him, she had just kept herself busy, visiting friends and family she had not seen in a while, but after the third week had passed by without hearing a peep from him, Stevie couldn't help but worry. What if he had decided she wasn't worthy of being given another chance?

By the fifth week, she couldn't convince herself any longer that he just needed more time to sort out what he actually wanted. Him not trying to get in contact with her at all was sending a very clear message: he didn't want to see her, nor talk to her.
Now, almost exactly 9 weeks later, she actually felt anxious to see him, again, especially because she knew she wouldn't be able to get out of it.

Tonight, was the very last show night of the tour, a special performance in Las Vegas. Afterwards, they would all part again to get back to their own lives and usual routines. Stevie wasn't even sure what that meant for her. Unlike all the other times before, she had not made any plans, yet.

Lost in her thoughts, she barely registered her assistant guiding her inside the venue to get her hair and make up done. It was only when she overheard a conversation of Mick and one of the guitar techs about Lindsey's absence that she snapped out of it. This was weird. And so out of character for Lindsey. He was never too late, always over-punctual, almost to a point that it annoyed the shit out of her. Looking back, she couldn't even count the amount of times they had gotten into an argument over the course of the past forty-five years because she had been too late, which in his eyes, was a lack of respect to the people waiting for her.

"I have no idea where he is", Mick said in an agitated voice, "His wife doesn't answer the phone, and his one has been dead for the past two hours. Nobody knows what's going on."

"Fuck.", the other man muttered with a shake of his head, "Do you think he will make it to the show?"

"If he doesn't have a good excuse for his absence for soundcheck today, I sure will kick his skinny arse. That guy has some nerves, not showing up in time for our last show of the tour.", Mick replied angrily and turned around to tell one of the managers to keep calling their guitarist, no matter how long it might take to get him on the phone.

"Do you have any idea where he's hiding?", Mick suddenly asked Stevie, a last desperate attempt to find out what happened to their bandmate.

Stevie shook her head, "No. Why would you think so?"

"Well, you two sure seemed quite cozy the last couple times we performed.", her friend said without any false pretense.

"I haven't heard from him ever since.", Stevie said honestly, even though she wished things were different.

"But you're not denying that you two got a little too close the last time you were around him?", Mick pushed and raised his brow.

"I don't think this is any of your business, Mick!"

Mick groaned in response to her very snappy remark, "Stevie, I swear, if this is your fault, if he isn't showing up because you two-"

"Then what, huh?!", she interrupted him before he could even finish his sentence, "What are you gonna do, Mick? Come on, tell me." She had not even noticed that the sound of her voice had reached a volume which had the whole crew become very quiet. Mick looked around, then hushed them all out of the room to speak with his friend in private.

"Stevie," he said in a very calm, almost pleading manner as he sat down opposite from her, "Please, please, don't tell me you've been sleeping with him, again."

"I'm not sure, if you're deaf or just stupid, Mick, but I just told you, that I'm not going to discuss this subject with you. Again, it's none of your business.", Stevie said and crossed her arms in front of her chest.

"Oh, Jesus. I don't think you could have made it sound any more obvious," Mick said with an exaggerated sigh, "I thought I made myself clear the last time we had this conversation."

"And who the hell do you think you are to dictate whom I can sleep with and whom I cannot?!", Stevie spat back before she said in a much calmer tone, "Listen, I have no idea what's going on. I wasn't lying when I said I haven't talked to him in two months. He-he didn't call me or came by to see me or whatever.."

Mick's facial expression softened as he noticed how emotional Stevie was getting, "Did you two get into a fight, again?"

Stevie shook her head, this time though, she couldn't hide the fact that her eyes were filled with tears she had been very successful to hide from everybody else the past couple weeks, "No. I actually thought things were moving in the right direction for us. We had a very long talk before we parted ways, he promised to contact me, but none of that happened. And now, he's late for a show, which never happens, and I'm worried sick about him and -"

The sound of her dressing room door busting open all of a sudden stopped her mid-sentence. In its wooden frame stood Lindsey. He looked slightly disheveled, as if he had not slept properly in a couple of days. His shirt was rumpled, his curly gray hair more tousled than usual. On top of that, he was out of breath, his eyes wandering back and forth between Mick and a very emotional looking Stevie.

"Where the hell have you been?", the tall British man was the first one to speak up, "We've been waiting for you for hours. You missed soundcheck and we have to step on stage in less than ten minutes."

"I know.", Lindsey said without as much as looking at his bandmate, he only had eyes for the blonde who was desperately trying to mask the fact that she had been crying by dabbing at her eyes with one sleeve of her dress without ruining her make up in the process. "Can you leave us alone for a minute, Mick? I need to talk to Stevie."

"Jesus Christ...", Mick grumbled but stood up and walked past Lindsey to leave the room and close the door behind himself.

"I have nothing to say to you.", Stevie said and turned her head to the side. She couldn't look at him. "You can just leave, again. We have to go out on stage any minute now, anyway."

"Stevie, listen, there is a whole lot I have to tell you. Lots happened and-"

"You had nine weeks, Lindsey. Nine weeks to come and talk to me but you decided otherwise. You know what? I'm so tired of listening to just another pathetic excuse of why you couldn't make it. Again. It's just... exhausting at this point."

Lindsey sighed, he should have known this was the kind of mood she'd be in as soon as he saw her. Maybe he should have done this differently. An impatient knock at the door, followed by a hissed 'Two more minutes, guys' by Karen, made Lindsey build up the courage to risk another attempt at getting her to talk to him. "Listen, Stevie-"

"No, you will listen to me.", Stevie interrupted him before he was able to lull her into a false sense of security with some touchy-feely talk, "I don't think you even have the slightest idea what I have been through the past two months. And honestly, I am just not interested in doing this, anymore. From now on, we play this game according to my rules: Don't try to talk to me, don't call me, don't come over. Do not even look my way. But then again, judging by the past nine weeks, this should come easy to you."

"Stevie, please, just listen to me for a second-", Lindsey tried one more time, but again, he got interrupted before he could get any meaningful words out.

"Save it.", Stevie said and stood up to move past him. With one hand on top of the door handle, she turned around once more. She looked right into his mesmerizing eyes, those two blue oceans she had trusted so much, that she had missed so much each and every single night they had been seperated since October. And then, remembering the heartbreaking episode of a TV show she had watched late last night, which once again resulted in her bursting into tears, she said, "You know what, Lindsey? You and I, we are so over that we need a new word for it."