THE BELL RANG,indicating that class had just started. For the first time ever you were one of the first to be in your seat, not wanting to take the risk of running into anyone you played with during recess.
As the teacher called role, you stared down at your clutched hands, deep in thought about nothing, just trying to distract yourself from the internal pain you were feeling.
Tears pricked your eyes and dampened your eyelashes, cascading down your cheeks and leaving wet streaks. You quickly wiped them away in hopes of not catching anyone's attention, after all, it's been a month since people have last seen you.
The once energetic and happy ball of sunshine sad? You wouldn't let anyone get the chance to see that. However, those sage eyes from across the classroom seemed to be the only ones to notice, and understand.
"(Y/N). (Y/N)?"
Your name being called from across the classroom pulled you out of your thoughts. You quietly sniffled and quickly wiped your nose with the sleeve of your uniform, "Here!" You exclaimed with a bright, fake smile.
The teacher took notice of this, which prompted him to ask the following, "Can you come outside for a moment?"
As you were walking out of the classroom everyone was ooo-ing, except for one. Your teacher closed the door and focused his attention on you. "I heard about what happened to your mom and I'm so sorry, if there's anything I could do please let me know."
You nodded your head, refusing to make eye contact and focusing your gaze on the ground below you. He sighed and continued.
"I know you must need time for yourself so you're free to go to the bathroom whenever you want okay?" Acknowledging his words, you made your way towards the bathroom, anger and sadness bubbled up in you as the only person you could talk to was yourself.
You hated how anyone who knew about your mothers passing would become exceptionally nice to you, as if you'd break at a simple touch. You were still a living, breathing person yet they talked to you and treated you as something so delicate.
Of course you took your moms passing hard, she's all you've ever known your whole life, but you would appreciate it if people didn't treat you so different. You're never going to heal with everyone's pity. You promised yourself to never tell anyone about her.
Once you got to the bathroom, you checked every stall to make sure there were no occupants. After making sure nobody was in there, you closed and locked the bathroom door to finally let out a bit of the sadness and anger you had bottled up, through tears and silent sobs.
Your eyes and lips got red and slightly puffy, your throat felt dry and small hiccups would appear occasionally along with a runny nose. It hurt so bad, yet it was a good cry that was long overdue.
You sat on the toilet seat hugging your legs to provide yourself with warmth and comfort. Usually you'd consider even touching the school toilet seat with your fingers gross, but sadness didn't allow you to care anymore.
You splashed your face with the cold water from the faucet and stayed in there for a few more minutes to calm down, letting the tears on your shirt dry before returning back to class.
This was the most heartbreaking yet comforting feeling you've ever felt, all you had left was yourself.
You hunched over the sink and stared at yourself, bitterly laughing at your unfair situation. Empty eyes greeted you in your reflection.
This incident was causing you to mature much faster than the rest of your peers and you felt so out of place— so disconnected.
What did a nine year old do to deserve this? _______________________________
AUTHORS NOTE:
Let it all out shawty😩 This fic has been sitting in my drafts for damn near a year.
