Unconditionally Thor's (Loki x OC)

Chapter 4- Memory

Loki's POV(Point of View)

Loki couldn't help but feel strangely vulnerable to hard memories, walking down the hall with his brother. They both hadn't spoken since they'd left the garden, even though Thor had claimed that he wanted to speak. In reality, he'd probably just wanted to pull Loki away from Elin.

Loki tilted his head back a little, feeling overwhelmed by an old memory:

He'd found her in a deserted lounge, reading a book, as always. As he entered, he approached her from behind and placed his hands over her eyes, muttering, "Guess who?" in her ear.

"Loki, obviously," she replied without hesitation.

His hands slid down onto her shoulders.

"You know, I was just sitting in my room, all bored and everything, you know..." he drawled against her neck, "but then I had this really strange feeling- like I wanted to see you... but it was more than that,"

He swung his legs over the back of the couch and plopped down next to her. He had been grinning, as always, and his eyes shone as he continued. 

"It was more of a desire, you know? Like... like I couldn't go another second without talking to you. So... here we are,"

"Interesting," Elin replied. He snatched her book from her hands, tossing it across the room.

"Hey!" she protested as he snaked one of his arms around her back. "What do you think you're doing?"

"For the time being... trying to hang out, I guess," he replied, laying his legs across hers.

"Strange way to hang out," she said jokingly.

"Well, I'm a strange person," he responded, nuzzling her neck with his nose. "And besides, I thought we could use some time,"

He stroked her jaw with his free hand and watched as her face turned a tint of pink.

"Some 'time', now?" she asked, rubbing her shoulder against him.

"Just some alone time," he pressed his face against the side of hers. "You do look quite ravishing, darling,"

She giggled softly. "You were always a flirt, weren't you?" 

"Only to those of my choosing," he replied, grinning. 

"So this is practice?" Elin rested her head on his shoulder.

"No," he couldn't help but blush. "This is very real,"

"Oh?" 

"You're terribly beautiful," he told her, his tongue caressing his lips. "Alluring with every touch,"

Elin laughed softly, lifting her head. "What is it you're really trying to do, here?"

He sighed, retracting his arm around her and instead taking her hand.

"I need to tell you something, Elin," he murmured almost suggestively. 

"Well, go ahead," she prompted.

He let out a long breath, his insides jittering with nervousness and anxiety. "I'm very used to my brother getting all of the fame, all of the glory, all of the friends, all of the women, you name it- he has it all."

He paused, collecting his courage.

"Then this- this girl comes along, and instead of asking to spar with him, she asks to spar with me." he continued. "Instead of talking to him, she talks to me. Instead of calling him her best friend, she calls me her best friend. And... and that did something to me. This girl changed how I thought about myself. I thought she was the only person in the entire nine realms that put me over my brother, so... I got really possessive,"

He shoved his free hand into his pocket, searching around for something he'd been carefully designing for almost a month.

"I got so defensive, so protective, so envious... I didn't want her to slip away from me, like everyone and everything else. People used to pretend to like me just to catch the eye of my brother. Women used to date me just to make my brother notice them. I hated it. I avoided everyone. But when I see this girl and I realize that she- she hasn't left me... well, if you haven't figured it out yet, you're that girl, Elin,"

He drew the special item from his pocket, curling his sweaty fist around it. He was nervous, but he was also terribly excited.

"I am forever grateful, Elin," he said softly. "You have become my entire world, and-"

The door to the lounge burst open. They both jumped at the sound of boots thumping against the floor. 

"Elin!" 

Thor rushed towards them, clearly ecstatic. Annoyed and angry, Loki shoved his fist into his pocket, giving his brother the 'this is not the time' glare.

"Elin, I have wonderful news! And I'm sorry for rushing in, brother," he announced.

Loki shook his head, then prompted for him to carry on with whatever his wonderful news was.

Thor gave a huge grin. "Well, Elin, our fathers have agreed to make you my betrothed! We're basically engaged!"

Loki's entire body turned to lead.

The world began to spin, he felt horribly lightheaded and ready to puke. 

"Really?" Elin questioned, seeming very surprised and unsure of what to think.

"Yes!" Thor started backing towards the door. "Now, since Loki clearly does not want me here, I'll be going. Sorry for bursting in... pretend I wasn't here,"

When he slipped out, Elin looked to Loki, expecting him to continue.

Of course, he couldn't.

He couldn't pretend that Thor hadn't come barging in, not only stepping on his moment but stealing it as well. He couldn't pretend that his feelings for Elin were suddenly removed. He couldn't pretend that Elin would reject this absurd proposal and suddenly love him in the way he loved her.

Something bubbled inside of him. Thor always got what he wanted. Thor always got whatever he asked for, and now he was getting the only thing Loki was going to ask for. Loki had worked hard, trying to set up everything on his own, only for Thor to effortlessly steal it away from him without a second thought. Rage was an understatement to his pain- he was beyond that. He was murderous. He was angered so far that he could barely force words out of his mouth. 

"Loki?"

Loki glanced up at Elin, who was looking concerned. 

"Sorry. I lost my track," Loki said through forced calmness though by now he was far, far, far away from calm. "I should be going anyway. Congratulations,"

Before she could see him start bawling his eyes out, he abruptly stood up and marched from the room. Once the door was closed, he sprinted to his chambers, tears beginning to stream down his face. When he reached them, he slammed the door with the intensity of 10,000 burning suns and locked it, collapsing onto the floor and sobbing his shattered heart out of his chest.

Remembering had been a struggle. It had only been, what, two days ago? He had gotten so close, so very close, only for it to be yanked away from him like everything else. And to think, he had just been telling her how he thought she'd never leave him...

He was wrong. 

Everything left him, one day or another.

He supposed that he just had to accept that.