Thicker than Water (Marauders Era) PART II

12 April, 1996 - Stress (III)

Sirius stifled a groan as Lavinia left the kitchen, dropping his head down in his hands and covering his eyes. This was not the first conversation like this. Nor, Sirius suspected, would it be the last.

If he was honest, of course, he saw both sides of the story. He knew Remus was right. They needed Dumbledore. They needed to trust Dumbledore. They didn't stand a chance of winning the war to come without him.

But Lavinia was also right. He should have been here. He should have been helping them. Or at least explaining why he wasn't instead of... well. That was just it. No one actually knew what Dumbledore was doing, much less why. It was frustrating to say the least and all of them were more than slightly annoyed by the whole thing, but Lavinia seemed to have taken it the hardest.

If he was honest, Sirius thought he had a good guess why.

Because Lavinia had never trusted Dumbledore easily. He had had to earn her trust and it had not been a thing lightly given. And now... well, now, it was only though sheer faith that any of them believed that Dumbledore was still working for their cause. And Lavinia... Well, Sirius didn't think Lavinia had that kind of faith to give right now.

And it was this that was at the core of her snappishness these past several days. It wasn't just that Dumbledore wasn't where she wanted him to be. It wasn't just that Dumbledore hadn't bothered to explain. It was that too many little things had happened without anything changing at all and Sirius didn't think it took a genius to see why that was affecting her so much. And see it he did. He saw the drain of it. The stress of it that seeped into little gestures and moments and words. The quiet evaporation of her hope that seemed to come with every little thing that went wrong.

And this combined with the reality that he knew Lavinia well enough to know that she very rarely got truly angry made him think this was anger at all. Or at least, he didn't think it was all anger, though he had to admit she had plenty of reasons for the ire to be there. But knowing her... Well, Sirius thought this was fear. And she had perfectly good reasons for it.

Which, Sirius knew, was why he probably should have followed her out of the kitchen. Because he didn't believe for a moment that she was going to check on Buckbeak. But he didn't leave immediately. Because as much as he wanted to jump up and comfort her, there was another conversation that needed to be had. And besides, Sirius had a patronus to send.

"She's right you know," he said with a sigh, pushing his chair back from the table, preparing to stand.

Remus looked up, a tired sort of expression on his face. "Not you too," he muttered, that exhaustion as plain in his voice as it was in his face. "We have to trust him, Sirius."

Sirius sighed, realizing what Remus thought he'd meant. "Not that," he clarified. "Though," he added, tipping his head slightly to the side, "She has a point there too. But I mean she's right that we have to just tell Dumbledore to come back. Just long enough to give him this information. We can't risk putting it all in the patronus."

"Oh," Remus agreed, looking almost relieved. "Yes. Well. True."

"And she's also right that I should do it," Sirius added, a bit more hesitantly, not wanting to in any way imply that he didn't think Remus was capable or careful enough.

Remus just nodded, still looking at the table and giving the distinct impression of someone who wasn't really listening.

Sirius sighed, leaning on the back of his chair and pausing yet again before pulling out his wand . "You know she's just overcautious, right?" he asked gently. "She knows you're careful, she just... worries."

Remus took a long, deep breath and looked up from the table. "I know," he replied easily. "It's not that."

Sirius blinked, somewhat surprised, though he realized he probably shouldn't be. It wasn't like Remus to get frustrated over something like that. . "Then what is it?" he prompts carefully, a small frown creasing his brow.