Thicker than Water (Marauders Era) PART II

30 December, 1996 - Remains

Remus was rather surprisingly calm when Lavinia came home rather later than she'd intended that night. Not that he was entirely calm, but given that Lavinia had suggested she'd be out for no more than an hour and had proceeded to stand in the near freezing cold for at least twice that long, she'd expected worse.

Instead, however, Remus just greeted her with a hot cup of tea and an expression that said he knew what had happened. How, Lavinia had no idea until he sat down next to her on the couch and said quietly, "Severus sent a message."

Lavinia made a noncommittal noise. That explained that, at least, even if raised a whole host of other questions as well. Severus had sent word? That was... well. It was kind of him, really. Actually, Severus had been fairly kind to her all day, now she came to think about it. He had listened to her about the Malfoy child, which she supposed was miracle enough, but he had also clearly tried to keep her from having to see Peter. Which again, was ... decent of him. And then he had told Remus. Which wasn't just kind to her, it was kind to Remus.

Lavinia felt rather bad for thinking it, but she couldn't help but be slightly surprised. Severus was usually polite to her, in all fairness, but he was also rarely more than cordial to Remus. And yet... In so many ways, he had been today.

And Lavinia honestly couldn't be sure why that was hanging her up. It shouldn't have. It was just one person being decent. One person being kind. And yet... it felt like it meant something. It felt like it mattered. Because Severus had only the vaguest of ideas how the sight of Peter would affect her. But he had tried to protect her from it anyway.

As the silence stretched on and became something almost awkward, Lavinia became aware of Remus staring at her, a slight crease forming between his brows until, after several minutes had passed, he raised a brow. "Are you... okay?" he pressed, a slight edge to the words that might have been worry or annoyance or something else entirely.

Lavinia sighed and leaned back against the couch, holding her tea to her chest like it could displace the hollow sort of cold that had settled there during those hours over Bertie's grave. "I don't know," she said honestly. "I just... don't know." Which was precisely the problem, of course.

Remus nodded vaguely, looking at the opposite wall, apparently not knowing what to say. Which was fair, Lavinia thought. Because she didn't know what to say either. What to think. It was just... a mess. And even though she'd been mulling it over in her head from the moment she'd seen Peter, she still had no idea. Because no matter how much she thought about it, she kept getting stuck on the boy she had known. The friend she had loved. The person he had been. And despite all the years in between, it still hurt to think that person might really be gone.

"Did you talk to him?" Remus asked after a moment of silence, pulling Lavinia back to the present.

"No," Lavinia admitted after a pause, her eyes drifting, as if of their own accord, to the mantle where photographs with Peter were hidden amongst the chronicles of a lifetime since. "I can't decide if I should have, either," she added quietly, her eyes skimming over the photographs as though she could make out his face, even from this distance.

"Did you want to?" Remus asked carefully and Lavinia registered out of the corner of her eye that he was looking at her, searching her face for the response she knew he wasn't sure her tongue would give him.

But Lavinia didn't return his stare, instead keeping her eyes pinned on the mantle like she could look through the years and just... transport herself back. Rewind time and freeze it in a moment when she had had the life she wanted. The life she missed.

She sighed and shook her head. "I don't know that either," she replied with a depressed sort of honesty, feeling a frown crease her brow. "I just... kinda... froze."