Thicker than Water (Marauders Era) PART II

12 August, 1995 - Understand (II)

That evening, Remus did indeed receive an invitation to join the Weasleys and Sirius and Harry for a celebration at Grimmauld Place. This was around midday and Harry was back from his hearing. And... he had won. Cleared of all charges. Reading the letter, Remus had felt relief wash through him and Lavinia, who had been reading over his shoulder, slumped back into the couch next to him, her eyes closing and her chest moving rather quickly, like she was just beginning to breath after having held her breath for a very long time. Which... made sense, if Remus was honest because...

Cleared of all charges.

Relieving didn't even begin to cover it. And, he suspected, actually, that Lavinia had been far more stressed about the hearing than perhaps anyone else. For multiple reasons. First of all, because she knew perfectly well just how far the Ministry would go to get rid of the people it wanted gone. She had lost Sirius to Azkaban that way. She had lost her brother that way. And second of all, because she also could see exactly how they would do it. Because she had done her research and reached the very simple conclusion that it was only too possible. Too likely.

And, on top of all those perfectly logical reasons, Remus suspected that though she would undoubtedly deny it, those words Sirius had spoken had stuck with her and she somehow felt that if Harry didn't get off, that it would be, at least in part, her fault. Which was ridiculous of course, but Remus didn't say anything about it. First and foremost because he suspected she wouldn't appreciate it and second because he didn't suppose it much mattered at the moment. Harry was cleared. And her worries with him at the moment were far more personal. He didn't need to add reminders of other worries and stresses. Especially not more that had to do with Harry.

So for now, Remus could only hope that he could do some small thing to smooth over this misunderstanding between them. To help get Harry to understand that he didn't have to forgive Peter. But that hating Lavinia because she did was... well it was understandable to be annoyed with her, of course, but hating her felt... extreme. Not that he was going to say that to Harry's face. He would have to be far more delicate about it.

Which was actually something Remus spent much of his day thinking about, right up until that evening when, as everyone else was chatting in the kitchen, Harry pulled Remus aside. Remus followed the boy, feeling something like nerves building up in him as he glanced back over his shoulder to see Lavinia watching him go with a rather apprehensive expression on her face. He shot her a reassuring smile he wasn't at all sure did anything to assuage her fears, and continued after Harry into the sitting room down the hall. As they went, Remus found himself rehearsing his arguments, reminding himself what he should say and how he should say it and above all to be honest.

Because the honest truth was that Remus didn't always understand how Lavinia could find it in herself to forgive everyone. He still remembered the day the papers had listed her brother among those sentenced to life in Azkaban and she had... fallen apart. Not wildly or dramatically because of course, she had been so horrifyingly empty in those days. But he'd found her standing on a cliff's edge and he didn't think it was for the view. But when he'd asked, when he'd dared to press... she'd admitted that she missed him. That she forgave him. That she had forgiven them all.

And he didn't always get why. Because he couldn't honestly say he could do the same.

But he didn't always have to understand why. He accepted it. And besides, in this case, with Peter... he might not agree with all of it, but on this one, he was pretty sure he knew why. Which was what he braced himself to explain as Harry stopped walking and turned to look at him, his expression determined and his jaw set.

"I have a question," Harry began with absolutely no preamble whatsoever.

Remus blinked and nodded, taking a deep, steadying breath and hoping this didn't turn into an explosion. "Go on," he prompted when Harry seemed to be waiting for him to say something.