I didn't sleep much last night.I knew that I had obviously fucked up.Again.Something about being in the same room as other men who've had previous relationships with Jas did something to me.In all the worst ways.
That wasn't an excuse for my extreme jealousy.In the moment I didn't think about Jasmine and her past with that type of stuff.All I wanted to do was hurt her so she felt how I did and it was fucked up.
Trevante had fucked her up.She was afraid of me and that's the last thing we need right now.I wanted to keep her as stress free as possible but I did a horrible job and now I'm laying in my bed thinking of how to fix it.If I even can.
I hated how much I had to apologize to her.Im sure by now they all started to sound the same in her eyes but I will still do it.
I looked at my phone and saw that it was about 8 am.I had made it to the morning without sleeping a second.Every time I closed my eyes I saw her leaving me and that was my biggest fear.
I got up and walked to the guest bedroom Jas was staying in.I knew she'd be up by now.She always was.
"Baby?"I knocked
I heard shuffling.
"Yes?"She said softly through the door
"Uhm..I was gonna get some breakfast.Anything you want in particular?"I asked
"Oh..no.I'm okay."She spoke
"You have to eat something.You can be mad at me for as long as you need to be but I really need you to eat something mama."I told her
She sighed.
"Uhm..hashbrowns,eggs,toast."She said
"Okay...I'll be back."I told her
"..And if you need some space that's okay...just tell me."I said sincerely
"Okay.Thank you."She spoke lowly
I started to leave the house praying to God that she'd still be there when I returned.
Jasmine
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I was conflicted.I knew better.This isn't healthy.I deserve better than this.But..I shouldn't have put him in that situation.I shouldn't have hit him.And now, I'm most likely pregnant.
There isn't much that I can do at this point.So I guess I just have to get rid of the things that make him act like this.Namely, Travis.I didn't want to but if he really makes Aubrey so upset that he talks to me and handles me the way he did then I have to do what I have to do.
