My Only Sin

13: Ugh Feelings

Kai's Pov

I trudged through the leaves wandering around still feeling like shit for what I did to Luke but even more so for making Lila mad. I should've said something I should've told her I wanted her to stay. I wanted to stay.

I'm just not used to feeling like this you know all sad and in love the only things I've ever really felt before the merge was pain from when someone physically hurt me now I just... I don't know what to do! It's confusing and complicated and now I have only one place I could go so I can write an apology letter to Jossette

And then go to the Salvatore boarding house so I can give them the letter and they can get it to Jo.... then I guess I could ask if there's something I could help with in anyway..... they'll be so confused when I do but I have to try something to get this feeling to leave me forever

~

I walked into the Salvatore boarding house a letter in hand and a plan to act like my usual self. I mean I might tell them that I have feelings but I'll try not to show it unless Luke's feelings have a different idea "hello?" I called out walking into the kitchen I heard Damon and Elena talking but I didn't really bother listening to what they were saying

"Whew I forgot how massive this house was, yum cupcakes" I say looking at the red velvet cupcakes on a tray next to damon "I'm sorry am I interrupting something?" I apologize wait sense when do I apologize? "What are you still doing here?" Damon asks obviously annoyed "well here's the thing I need your help"

I say and Damon turns to face me "with what?" He asks skeptically "I need you to give this letter to Jo" I say and they both raise and a brow as I sit down on the table facing them "why would we give a letter to Jo?" Elena asks "well I haven't been able to find her using a locator spell, and you know good honor cuz under normal circumstances

I would be super jazzed to gouge out her belly button" I admitted to them as I ate some icing of my finger. Wow this is really good chocolate icing. "why would we help you Kai?" Elena asked and I looked at her "well in case you haven't noticed I'm a sociopath, I know shocker I like being a sociopath you know?"

I explained as Elena rolled her eyes looking over at Damon "I'm not burned by things like guilt or love, so then this merge happened with my brother Luke, and I won which is great because I absorbed his ability to do magic, but now I can't stop thinking about how Luke died...." I swallowed hard "how Liv's life is ruined.

For some horrible reason I can't shake how badly I feel about it" I say chuckling humorlessly trying hard to hold back from crying.... God I'm pathetic.... "You feel bad?" She asks "yea see when I absorbed Luke's magic I must've absorbed some of his qualities like empathy, so Lila googled what I should do

And she said that I was supposed to write a letter about how I feel and burn it. And when I was writing the letter water literally started pooling in my eyes has that ever happened to you? Like, like water just oozing out of my eye balls like I'm some alien creature excluding fluid" I described as they looked at me "you mean you cried?"

Elena asked "yes! And after that I burned the the letter and poof the feelings are still there" I say smiling I rather smile then show sadness "so Lila said that Luke wrote apology letters and did good deeds to feel better so here I am with a letter that I would like Jo to have"

I finish and they stare at me quizzically "Elena you of all people should be able to over look all the bad things I've done and see there's good somewhere in me you did it with Damon" I add and Damon turns "okay we're done here" he says and Elena holds up her hand "actually what if there's something you could do for us in return?" She asks me and I narrowed my eyes looking between both of them

"This is a sad attempt at iron welding" I comment as I try to twist a part back in place on the ascendant causing it two fall apart "I tried to fix it" Elena said and I looked over at her "we can't bring back Bonnie with this" I say looking at the broken pieces on the floor "I thought you were the all powerful leader of the Gemini coven now"

Elena said and I turned to her "I destroyed this so that it couldn't be used again" I explain "well could we use that hunk of junk to send a message?" Damon asked and I looked over at him

*MEANWHILE*

Lila's Pov

I stood there as I watched an old abandoned building burn down in front of me. I was the one who burned it down using some explosives..... Luke taught me how to make them and I ran out of magic so I had no other way to burn it down and I really wanted to burn something down

Surprisingly I feel better

Not entirely but more than I used to anyway. I walked away and towards Liv's room back at college I'm too far from it and she has to be just as devastated as I am probably more so. Besides when Liv is sad she does something stupid like....... burn down a building.......... we have a lot in common but that's besides the point

I have to get there before she does I just hope I'm not too late. Maybe Tyler stopped her, hopefully he did but I doubt it she can be very irrational at times.

~

I walked up the stairs and towards Liv's room I saw the door was already open and I looked inside to see Tyler passed out on the floor. "shit" I mumbled rushing in and closing the door behind me quickly picking him up the best I could sense he's huge and I'm not very strong placing him on my old bed I started to slap his cheek "Tyler!"

I semi screamed at him, Liv must've knocked him out with some spell... which means I can wake him up by taking the magic from him I held the side of his face focusing before feeling the magic drain out of him. He took a huge gasp of air sitting up and looking around frantically when he saw me he quickly fell back down

"She's gone isn't she?" He asks and I nod my head "apparently" I say before backing away as he sits down on the bed "Tyler what happened where did she go what stupid ass shit is she trying to do" I ask trying not to sound to panicked but I am definitely panicking I mean when Liv's favorite album got lost she threatened to kill her cousin because she was the last one with it.

I don't want to know what she is willing to do now that her brother died. What if she kills herself!? "Lila are you even listening to me!" I hear Tyler shout snapping me out of my thoughts "sorry I was just thinking..." I pause "about what?" He asks and sit down on Liv's bed "what if she's so depressed she tries to kill herself?"

I ask and he swallows hard looking away then back at me but refusing to make eye contact my eyes widen "Tyler what is she doing?" I ask raising my voice "she went to go kill Kai" he muttered and I face palmed running out the door "wait where are you going!?" He asks after me "to stop Liv form killing us all!"

I yell back before I see him running besides me "I'm coming with" he says and I nod not having time to argue as we race out into Tyler's car "where do you think she went" I asked while Tyler turned on the car. "She saw Kai at the Salvatore place" He says putting on his seat belt as he drives off

"Salvatore boarding house it is"