Saving Emma - A Flip Zimmerman fanfic

Chapter 9. I Do Want More

Tuesday, Nov. 25th

Emma POV

Last night when Flip woke you up from your nightmare you felt instant relief and you needed him closer. You needed to touch him and smell him and know that he was actually there with you. So, when you felt a sliver of confidence you capitalized on it and asked him to lay in bed with you. Once he was in the bed all of your boldness left and you felt like an idiot for needing him there with you, but then he pulled you close, allowing you to curl up in his arms and find comfort there. He took care of you exactly like you needed him to.

This morning as you lay on his chest, listening to his heart beat, it felt like a dream. You sat there enjoying his warmth as you considered what had changed in the last 24 hours. Your resolution to be friends with Flip clearly was forgotten as you spent all of yesterday mentally sliding your hands all over his muscular frame, thinking about what it would feel like to run your hands through his hair, and wanting to pull him close. Even with that crowbar in the closet the day spent with Flip was a breeze.

Ugh, That damn crowbar!

Yesterday when you saw that crowbar, the same crowbar that Jax had used to crush your bones and your spirit, you couldn't help but lose all of your conscious. You were transported back to the basement of that psychopath, but then Flip's voice was there, pulling you from your PTSD induced hallucination and you realized that Flip was what kept him away. All those days spent in the hospital were bearable because he was by your side. He had always given you a comfortable feeling when he was near you, but this time it was different, it was like being saved all over again. You fell into Flip's arms and held onto him as if it was the only thing in this world that could hold you to reality. Yes, you still had self doubts and genuine fears but those thoughts seemed less important when you were as close to Flip as possible. When you talked with him on the couch you saw the hurt in his eyes and it touched you to see him hurting over what you were going through, wishing he could take the pain away for you.

It was so easy once you were out of the apartment to let yourself forget about Jax and enjoy the time with Flip. Riding along with Flip, telling stories and listening to music, it was the perfect distraction. You were so comfortable around him. Reality hit again when Flip pulled into the hotel parking lot bringing back some of the anxiety you had escaped from so you kept your head down, hiding your face under Kaysen's hat, and stayed as close to Flip as possible.

You knew sleep was going to be even more difficult than usual due to the events of the day but Flips presence was all you needed to be able to stand it. Then you saw the lust in his eyes as he watched you walk back to the bed after you changed into your pajamas and the rest of the night you couldn't help but feel flustered by the thoughts of what that might of meant. You weren't bothered at all like you thought you would be; not when it was Flip. The fact that an attractive man wanted you after all that you have been through with the scars still showing was enough to give you chills. Part of you wanted to be bold and give into your thoughts and kiss him right then and there letting him know exactly how good he made you feel, but you couldn't open that gate with Flip. You were too scared. Not of him, but just of sex in general. You felt like sex had just been ruined for you now, like it would be too triggering and you wouldn't ever be able to pull pleasure from it again. And you were also scared of rejection. You knew you were in no position to be abandoned. So you fell asleep, feeling conflicted. You no longer wanted to be just friends with Flip but you couldn't imagine what a relationship with him would look like with you being so broken.

Flip pulled you from your thoughts when he started stirring bringing you back to the present. You lifted your head off of his chest and looked up at him. Damn, did he really have to look this good waking up? He opened his eyes slowly and smiled down at you. "Hi," he said groggily.