Kayli Unknown

Chapter 40 - The Last Secret

Lisa held Kat all night, her arms around her shoulders, her face pressed against her cheek. Her weight was on Kat all night – her hips, her chest. She held Kat tight, and rode her chest as Kat breathed. She kissed Kat's cheek a million times and fought sleep so she could enjoy every moment of their night together. But in the end, she slept.

She woke to Kat moving under her. She knew what Kat was doing – testing the bindings on her wrists and ankles. She waited until Kat was done. She wanted Kat to know she was not free.

"I have a secret, Kat. I want you to hear it. I want you to feel it. I think you feel some of it now." Kat moved her mouth around the gag, but didn't attempt to say anything.

"You'll have to wait a bit for the secret. While you wait, you can feel what I want you to feel, right? I have you. And I will do what I want with you. Oddly, the first thing I want to do is tell you how much I love you. Your wrists and ankles might be telling you differently, but trust me. I do love you. And, given your situation, you do need to trust me. Now. For some things I want to tell you.

"Yesterday you asked why I didn't tell you about Kayli. I told you some things. Let me add to that, and tell you about you." She held her face just above Kat's, looking at her eyes. They were fully open. The effects of the drug were largely over. Good. Kat would hear and remember.

"I have always been Loony Lisa. I was Loony Lisa in third grade. I was Loony Lisa in high school. Everyone knew I was on all kinds of drugs. I had a couple idiots try to buy pills from me. After high school I joined the mass of people leaving Iron River. The mine was closed. Why stay? In my case, a new town meant a new start. But of course I fucked that up the first time I had one of my fits."

She looked down at Kat. "With me?" Kat nodded, then moved her head.

"No, the gag stays in. It matters. You are learning my secrets. You are feeling my secrets. The me you are feeling doesn't get to talk when she wants, or move when she wants. She waits, and does what others want her to do. And she hopes – she hopes – they don't want to hurt her."

She held Kat's gaze for a minute, emphasizing her words, then continued.

"When was I not Loony Lisa? With my daughter. My beautiful daughter. My daughter with the long hair I could brush. My daughter with the nails I could polish. My daughter who sometimes wore a dress matching my own. I loved that girl with all my heart. You know I did."

She looked down and saw Kat nod.

"Then in the last year, Jim hired me. To work the bar. On my own. Loony Lisa trusted to run a bar six or eight hours a day, just like a normal person. Of course he wanted to fuck me, and he did. Often. Sorry. I assume you knew that. If you and he weren't getting it on, he would be all over me. Sometimes he tied me, sometimes he didn't. Either way, he fucked my brains out. I have no idea why you have not gotten him to the altar. Until you do, he's welcome in my bed."

She stopped and looked at Kat.

"Sorry. That was not the point of the story. What I started to explain was why I didn't tell you about Kayli. In additional to the other reasons, there was the obvious one. I got to be with you. And we were out in public together. Loony Lisa and Major Kat – the most successful woman in Marinette County. Probably Florence County too. People saw me with you. People saw you listening to me, taking me seriously. Me. As we searched the county. And we took on a druggie. Me. With you. I know I was being selfish, but I didn't want that to end."

She looked down at Kat. "Do you understand?" Kat nodded, even moved her face around the gag. A smile?

"Thank you." She ran her fingers over Kat's cheek. "It matters more than you can imagine."