Harp's Manor

INSTALLMENT XXII

August 4, 1928

Fantastic. Somehow, Connolly left the manor in a worse state than when I had left it. I'm just having a little fun, of course; I don't blame him for the sudden murder attempts. But it is still a little frustrating to come back and realize things are a mess again!

My little vacation was excellent. I hadn't realized how much I needed it until I was actually there. I feel more relaxed now, certainly; my insomnia has gone away. How long that will last, unfortunately, I am unsure.

Audrey has informed me of everything that has happened since I have been gone. I have a few things to say. First and foremost, whoever is attempting to kill her will inevitably be caught and punished by yours truly, and the police, of course. Secondly, will they stop ruining Miss Pearce's artwork? It's very lovely and the pieces brighten up the hidden corners of the mansion. Stop turning them into murder weapons! Thirdly, I do agree that Mr. Stephenson's lack of motivation to stop the assassin comes off as suspicious, but I also view him as a bit of a bigot, so it really might mean nothing at all. Finally, it comes as a complete shock to me that both he and Weaver would accuse me of being the assassin! It's a funny thought, I must admit, but I rather resent them for entertaining it seriously.

It is also odd that the attacker would choose to strike so frequently during my departure. Perhaps they are afraid of me. I can't imagine that is true; but at least they are wary of me. I have done too much investigation to be seen as a bystander.

Bridget attacked me the moment I walked in the door. "Oh Rosie, I've been so lonely!" she exclaimed, nearly flattening me on the doorstep. "Lord, you won't believe how ab-so-lute-ly crazy things are here! Really, come now, you need to sit down so I can tell you all that's happened, it's been one wild week! Oh, Rosie, you'll be so disappointed you missed it all! And I've still been so really lonely, really, I have. I'm telling you, nobody around here bothers to listen anymore! Really. Now to be square with you, I have been a bit grungy because everyone's all worried about Audrey, but I'm real worried about her, too! I'm telling you, two murder attempts! Two! Who would want to kill her that badly? It's been real crazy here, Rosie, I'm telling you, and you wouldn't believe what happened next. Really, we all went completely stark raving mad. Now I think it's just all a bunch of hooey; you can't blame everyone because we can't all want to kill Audrey; but Rosie, they're saying you did it! Isn't that just wild! Especially because you weren't even here. That high hat Hobbes really mustn't have a brain, because I think he forgot you weren't even here! But nobody's really been paying me that much mind because they've been ignoring me, which really does lather me up, but that's okay, because now that you're here I'll be able to tell you about it all! Oh, really, come, I must tell you about it all!"

I had been under the impression that she had just done that, but four hours later remembered Bridget's stories are never just the story itself. I barely had time to give Connolly the letter at the end of the last installment due to her prolonged stories. At least I now know enough about the past week that I might as well have not been missing.

Speaking of the letter last week, I assume many of you received it, because the Saturday Gazette experienced an increase in readership within the last week, so I've heard. The editor contacted me on Tuesday, declaring Her Majesty an instant success, against all odds. Apparently nobody here in America feels like reading about England at the moment. It comes as a pleasant surprise. As always, I thank all my readers and hope all of you young writers out there shall someday experience this same feeling of euphoria.

Mr. Forrest was glad to see me back as well, though he did not entertain me with any lengthy tales. "I don't believe it wise that you should set out on any more little vacations," he observed. "There is no coincidence that two attacks happened while you were gone. Connolly wasn't going to be doing any investigating, so they didn't have to worry about someone like you interrupting their plans."