Harp's Manor

INSTALLMENT XXXVI

November 10, 1928

Heyyyyyyyyyyyyy!

Has anyone else noticed that you can just keep on adding letters to the end of a word and it doesn't really change the meaning? Isn't that just darb? I could just keep on addinggggggggg g's to the end of that word if I wanted to and nobody could do anything about it because it would still mean the exact same thing whether they cut out all those extra letters or not! The only reason I bother saying all this is because the typewriter got stuck and I just ended up typing a bunch of y's at the end of hey and I didn't want to pull out the paper and scrap it all, so instead I just decided to teach everyone a quick lesson about the English language that they probably didn't know unless their typewriter got stuck once too. You know, this is really slow going, I don't know how to use a typewriter all that well. Who arranged the keys like this, anyway? Qwertyuiopasdfghjklzxcvbnm. What does that spell out? Maybe it's a secret code or something, I don't know. Shouldn't it just be abc? I think I'll switch to writing with a pen now. I'm much faster at that, but my handwriting is terrible, you know.

All right, I'm writing this with a pen now, and it's much faster going, I think. Now I just need to make sure I don't splotch it or anything. Now that I've cleared that up, I'll tell you what's going on because you're probably thinking to yourself now, wait, why is Bridget writing this? Oh wait, I didn't tell you that yet, so I guess you wouldn't know. Also I really don't want to scrap this piece of paper because I just started and I don't want to do this all over again because writing is hard, so if I make any mistakes I'm just going to ignore them. That means spelling errors because Lord knows I've already made fifty bazillion of those, I'll just have someone correct them later.

Forrest's note: There were a lot of errors.

Anyway, it's me, Bridget! I keep on forgetting that you're going to be reading this and not seeing it or hearing it because while I'm writing I'm saying it in my head, so to me it sounds like I'm saying it, which is weird, but you're going to be reading it so you're just going to have to imagine it in my voice or it really won't have the same effect. I was going to dictate (that's a fancy word right there) what I wanted to say here to someone else as they typed it, but no one else wanted to do it and I figured it was probably just best for me to do it myself anyway, because I'm doing it as a favor. That's another thing I forgot to tell you, oopsie. Poor old Rosetta got the cold or something from a walk the day before Hallowe'en, so she's all sick right now and can't type or walk around or anything. It's really quite sad and unlike her, you know. I hate it when people are sick, and not just because I'm afraid they're going to give it to me. You know, that reminds me of when the Spanish flu was going around and I was afraid someone was going to give it to me. Does anyone else remember that? Everyone was all coughing and sneezing and stuff, and it was real disgusting, it really was. At least some people had the decency to wear masks, you know. I know I for sure did because if they're not going to keep the flu in, I'm going to keep the flu out, you know what I mean? I think I might still have an old cloth mask from way back then, but I can't remember. That was pretty long ago, and I was a lot younger, so even if I do, it probably wouldn't fit. It's not that I'd like to wear it or anything, I just think I might still have it. It's not like it's high fashion or anything. If you still have a mask from the flu and were thinking of wearing it to look all ritzy and all, I don't think you should do it, because in the best case scenario you'll just look silly and in the worst case scenario you'll freak everyone out and make them think that the flu is back and they need a mask too, and then everyone will be wearing them for no reason and we'll all look silly. I just got really distracted on that tangent and had to read back through that entire paragraph to remember what I was talking about before I went blabbering away about the flu. Anyway, I don't like it when people are sick because they're really not like themselves at all, and it's so sad to see them when they're all sick, especially Rosie, because she's usually a live wire but now she's just got the worst cough.