Welcome to hell

Chapter 12

Hades had left after spending a couple of hours with me, actually he left as I had fallen asleep. Not that I mind, I'm not sure how to act around him after what happened between us. I know what happened was an act of lust, rather than love. And to make it all even worse, I had imagined that Lucifer was there as well, as I felt the most pleasure going through my body. I don't know why I thought about him, or why my mind made it seem like it would be a good idea for both of them to be there.

All I know is that it was wrong of me to be doing stuff like that, and I won't ever do that again.. But it's almost like I'm being mocked as I read the last pages of the book I borrowed from Lucifer. It's the most sensual book I have ever read, and it's written with so many small details, making my mind create scenarios I shouldn't be thinking about.

I open up the doors to the library, almost feeling like running back to hiding in my room again instead of seeing anyone. I know the two of us are alone again in the castle, because of a little note Hades had left beside my pillow. He had explained that he wouldn't be back for some time, but that he would try to see me if he found the time to do so.

I take a deep breath, as I walk further into the library. And then I finally see the man I was looking for, leaning against a table while looking at some stone he's holding in his hand. ''So you're finally back, and this time it didn't take you long to finish'' He comments as he places the stone beside him on the table.

His eyes look into mine, and I feel my cheeks heat up. ''Why did you make me read this!'' I almost want to throw the book at him, but then..

I hear him laugh, and the sound itself is almost enough to make my heart stop. I feel myself soften as I look at him laughing, he looks genuinely happy. ''I thought you would love it'' He smiles at me, and I can't deny the fact that his smile makes me weak in my knees.

''Why would I love a book like this! It's so.. Graphic..'' I want to frown, but instead I find myself smiling at him. It's like his smile is enough to light up the whole world.

''The two lovers both want nothing but the feel of the other's skin, on their skin. He slides the thin fabric she's wearing over her head, making her stand there naked. His fingers slide down her perfect porcelain skin, starting at her collarbone, and stopping as he reaches the soft skin of her breast-''

I widen my eyes as I realize that he's quoting a scene from the book, just from his memory. How many times did he read this? Before he can continue, I almost run to him and cover his mouth with my hand.

His hand quickly comes up to grab mine, he removes it from his mouth, but he keeps on holding my hand as he looks intensely into my eyes. I don't think I've been this close to him before, I already learned that he doesn't like when people come too close to him. But now standing here, right in front of him, with him holding my hand softly in his larger one. I feel like I'm frozen in place, like a statue that can't move. I'm scared to even move an inch, in case he freaks out and pushes me away.

I look at him, and then I notice how he's not only looking at my eyes. But it's like he's taking in every little detail of me. His eyes look down from my face to my body, taking his sweet time to look at me before he looks back up. His gaze is soft as he locks eyes with me. I slowly move my other hand up, that he isn't holding, until I reach his chest, placing my hand there. His eyes follow my movement, and I feel his heartbeat quicken as my hand rests there.

Is he.. Is he nervous? Is it me that's making his heart beat so fast? Or is it just because I'm standing too close for his liking? His grip on my hand tightens, as he looks back at me. I carefully move my hand from his chest, to his cheek, feeling him flinch a bit underneath my fingertips.

I slowly trace his cheek bone, feeling myself smile as I realize that his skin is just as soft, if not softer than I imagined it to be. I trace his jawline, and then I move my fingers up, just a little bit until I'm about to reach his lips. I don't think I want to feel his lips with just my fingers, as Hades usually does to me. No, I want to feel his lips against my own.

Noticing how he's holding his breath as my fingers rest beside his lips, I pull my hand back and then he lets out a shaky breath. His grip on my hand tightens even more, as I pick his other hand up and place it over my heart. Then I place my own hand over his once more, and this time I feel how his heartbeat slows down until it beats as slowly as my own.

He looks down to his hand on my chest, then he looks at my hand on his chest, before looking back into my eyes again. He's got a puzzled look on his face, and looks confused at me. I don't think he's used to this closeness, not that I am either. But I guess I've had time to adjust thanks to Hades, but right now I don't want to think about him. So I push the thoughts of him to the back of my mind.

I take his hand in my own again, and then I move it, placing it around my waist before I move closer to him. I place my own arm around him, and then with the hand he's holding onto I intertwine our fingers. Suddenly feeling the courage inside of me build up, I stand on the tips of my toes but then just as i'm about to touch his lips with my own, I suddenly feel nervous. His thumb gently rubs against the skin of my hand, slowly making more butterflies appear in my stomach. And then he leans his head down, until he rests his forehead against mine. I close my eyes as I feel his breath hit my lips, and I'm sure that he can feel mine too, that's how close we are.

I don't think I ever want this moment to end, I want to stay like this forever. I want to feel his arm around me, and his fingers between my own. My heart starts to feel funny, and the butterflies in my stomach have doubled by a million if not more. ''I..'' It's like he wants to say something, but can't.

I open my eyes, and then I look up to see his changing from the dark almost black eyes I have come to find so mesmerizing, into a red color. ''Your eyes..'' I whisper, placing my hand on his cheek. He widens his eyes, and then he tries to take a step back, but he can't because of the table behind him. So instead he sits down on the table, creating some space between us. And then he grips hard onto the end of the table, with the hand that was placed around me before. He looks like he's about to have a panic attack, and I think it's because of what I said.

But then I notice that he's in fact still holding onto my hand, so maybe he doesn't want to push me away? ''You need to go now'' His voice holds its usual cold and calm tone.

''Why, why do you want me to leave?'' I ask him.

He turns his face away from me. ''Adelaide, I told you to leave.. Just do as i say''

''Lucifer..'' His head snaps back in my direction, and he looks at me with a cold look in his eyes. ''You're still holding my hand''

''What?'' He looks confused, and then he looks down at our intertwined hands. Quickly realizing that he is in fact still holding onto my hand, he lets go and then he pushes past me.

He walks further away from me, until he stops in front of the window. I don't know why, but I've noticed that most of the times when he walks away he always ends up standing in front of the window. I decide to go after him, but I notice the way his entire body tense up as he sees me standing next to him.

''I'm just going to borrow another book, and then I'll come back once i'm done reading it.. Is that alright with you?'' I ask him quietly. I had a plan in mind that I would use the books to come back here, and I will keep using that as an excuse to come see him. Especially now after he let me come so close. I let my hand brush against his, but he quickly puts his hand inside his pocket when he feels my hand.

He continues to stare out of the window, not letting any of his attention get to me. How can he change his attitude towards me this quickly? Sebastian's eyes had turned all black when he got mad, and that made me scared of him. But Lucifer didn't get mad at me, did he? In any case, he didn't frighten me. If anything it was like he became afraid of himself.

''You don't frighten me..'' I tell him, then I stand on the tips of my toes and plant a kiss on his cheek.

Nothing changes with the way he just stands there and looks straight ahead. I let out a sigh, and then before I leave, I pick out a random book, making sure that it isn't too thick so I can come back again soon.