𝐇𝐎𝐏𝐄𝐋𝐄𝐒𝐒.

f o u r t e e n.

Ariella's POV:

They lied to me and still looked me in the eye as if they hadn't in the first place.

I don't even know if I can trust anyone anymore.

When people lie to me, I feel as if they don't respect me enough to be honest. They think I'm too stupid. They think I'm naive like a small five year old.

I don't tolerate liars. I may not be a nice person sometimes but I'm not a stupid one.

They lie straight to my face thinking I wouldn't find out, but really, the question is..

How could I not find out?

It was too big for me not to.

What can I do at this point besides saying life is shit.

...

My mother, despite my hate for her, always told me to be careful who you pretend to be. Sometimes you might end up losing your true self along the way.

I never believed her. I never listened to her because I was blinded by hate to think she wasn't telling the truth.

When did she ever though?

So I proceeded to pretend I was happy.

To pretend I wasn't scared of anything that came my way.

To pretend that I lived the greatest life.

I kept pretending and pretending until I finally lost the battle.

I lost myself in between the lies I relied upon to keep me living. I lost myself between the lines of lies and reality.

Sometimes I pray to find myself again but quite frankly who am I praying to?

A god?

I don't know sometimes. I prayed to have a good life. I prayed for a better mother. A better family.

I never got them. I had a family for a month. A family that I trusted and started to love.

Yet, a little at a time, they slowly but surely left. One by one. They all turned the back at me like I was nothing to them.

I'm in pain; it's not that easy to see since it was them that pushed me to feel that way. Now I have 3 people beside me but I'm waiting for them to leave. They all eventually do anyways.

People always come and go. They never stay and I've come to realise that over time.

Take my mother for an example. She was with me for my entire life before she too left me with the devil she loved. Even he soon left me, though I never cared if he did.

However, when they do stay, it's never for a good reason. I always think of them as a devil disguised as an angel. It's never good because most of the time, the devil answers your prayers too. Not the way you want it though.

It always comes with a little twist.

...

I'm constantly in this fake light. It makes me mock happiness as if I am jovial human being. But when I turn around, I'm in sudden darkness. It suffocates me strongly leaving me struggling to breathe.

Sometimes, as I'm in this fake light, it slips in and finds its way to ruin me.

It will endlessly ruin me without regret.

Sitting in the darkness, alone and confused, I wonder. When is life going to get better?

I mean will it ever?

What hurt me the most was that Mateo lied to me. He could've told me. We told each other every thing after all. We had no secrets. No lies. It was a true relationship.

Now that he lied along with everyone. I don't know who to trust. After all, lies are lies. Big or small.

In the end, one lie is enough to question all truths.

I should've told them the day I came back to that house. I should've said don't lie to me unless you are 100% sure I will never find out but how could I have known the little boy running around was my own and now I'm just hurt I didn't figure out any sooner.

I always get hurt one way or another. It's just the way life likes to roll out.

The way my life likes to roll out.

...

Sometimes in life, you feel like a lost soul. You feel like you did the most out of it. You think everything is going great on the outside but in the inside it's falling apart.

I just want a meaningful life. A life that should be worth living to the fullest. Yet, its made itself pretty clear that it'll never be like that ever.

It will never be that easy.

Even if I get the good grades, become a successful person. Life will get in the way with yet another thing.

For instance, I lived a good life for 4 months with my two friends Maya and Toby until I finally came back. Even so, life still had it out for me and threw me a son.

A three year old son.

Three years and motherless. Three years and I was clueless. We both had no clue. I was merely just never going to think that there was a possibility until it was too late.

What could I do now? Was I able to mother a three year old?

At the end of the day, I was a mentally unstable 16 year old girl.

Was I going to do it correctly?
Or not do it at all?

Thank you for reading 💕.