BLACKTWICEVELVET: the chaotic gays ͡° ͜ ͡°

the lisoo chronicles: dalgom's revenge | pt. 1

so, a brief intro: lisa's been annoying dalgom for more than two years,

so dalgom decides to get revenge.

— based on a true story, 
but some of the dialogues are interpreted with exaggeration; hence, fake.

in blackpink's dorm...

dalgom: [fucking poops on the couch eye—]

lisa, coming out of her room to watch tv: i wanna watch a movie~!

also lisa: [unknowingly sits right on top of dalgom's poop]

dalgom: [stares at lisa]

lisa: [spots dalgom] oh hi, my not-so-favorite creature!

dalgom: [leaves without doing anything]

lisa: meh [shrugs and grabs the remote]

two minutes later...

lisa, sniffing the air: gross. what's that horrifying stench?

lisa: [gets up and sees dalgom's poop]

lisa: DALGOM, YOU LITTLE SHIT — fuck, this is not the time for puns — I'M GONNA STARVE YOU TODAY!

lisa, phoning jisoo INSTANTLY: gosh, he's such a dweeb— ah, unnie? jisoo unnie!

jisoo, on the other end: what, what? jisoos, lisa, why're you calling me now?

lisa: UNNIEEEEEE DALGOM POOPED ON THE COUCH AND I SAT ON IT!!!

lisa, mumbling to herself: ..and my pants were new :[ 

jisoo, now interested: what? there's no way dalgom pooped... no way, you were the one who pooped, right?

lisa: unnie, i'm a person.

jisoo: people can poop too.

lisa:

lisa: dalgom pooped and i sat on it, PERIOD.

jisoo: okay now you're just lying. he won't just poop on the couch for no reason unless... [le gasp]

lisa: unnie, what happened?

jisoo: [laughing hysterically]

lisa: stop laughing!!!

jisoo, suddenly reverting to her serious demeanor: but did you see dalgom poop?? i feel like you did it...

lisa: NOOOO DALGOM IS A DOG AND I'M A PERSON! >:((

jisoo: the way you say that implies that you don't ever take a dump out of your butt.

jisoo, realizing something: wait, is that why most of the things you say are full of shit???

lisa:

jisoo:

lisa:

jisoo: i'll take that as a yes—

lisa: i hate you so much [disconnects the call abruptly and sulks]