Advice and Helpful Tips

2.15 Coping with puberty.

Puberty refers to the time when a child's body and mind change and develop as they become an adult. It usually begins between the ages of 11 to 14, but the age can vary a lot. Puberty can be a very confusing time, and there's a lot going on during it, so we'll have a lot to talk about.

The most important thing about puberty is that it causes a lot of changes in a person's body, so let's start by listing them.

First, for afab (assigned female at birth) people, these things will happen:

- The breasts will begin to develop, starting as small buds right under the nipple and developing to their full size over the course of puberty.

- Menstruation, aka periods, will start.

- The genitals will develop and mature.

- Pubic hair and hair in other parts of the body, such as armpits, will grow and become thicker.

- Most afab people will gain some weight as fat distribution in the body changes.

- Sweating will increase, and body odour will become stronger.

- Pimples and acne can happen.

Some of these things, particularly the period part, can be difficult to adjust to. We have posted some advice about periods on our page, you can check that out if you need to.

As for amab (assigned male at birth) people, these things will happen:

- The genitals will grow and develop

- Pubic hair and other body hair, like armpit hair, will grow and thicken. Facial hair may also grow.

- Sweating will increase, body odour becomes stronger.

- Amab people usually gain some muscle mass during puberty, regardless of how much they exercise.

- The voice will get deeper, which can cause occasional voice cracks. Voice cracks are when the voice suddenly becomes higher or deeper for a moment. They're normal, and will stop by the end of puberty.

- As the genitals develop, erections will start to happen. An erection is when the penis gets filled with blood and becomes hard. They can happen in the morning, because of arousal, or just randomly.

- And with erections, nocturnal emissions (also known as wet dreams) can also happen. This basically means ejaculating during sleep.

- Pimples and acne can happen.

These changes can be the source of a lot of insecurity for anyone. Keep in mind that everyone develops at a different pace, and everything that's happening is normal.

For intersex people, (people who were born with a body that does not fit the typical definition of male or female) puberty can be an especially confusing time, and some intersex people first find out that they are intersex during puberty. Since all intersex bodies are different, we can't say exactly what will happen to an individual person.

If you're experiencing puberty symptoms that don't fit with the description of the gender you were assigned at birth, there is a chance that you may be intersex. If this is the case, it's a good idea to talk to a medical professional to better understand your body and the changes happening to it.

One more thing to note is that all of these changes will be different depending on the person. Some people experience them more strongly, others don't. Some things in life, such as certain illnesses can prevent some of these changes from happening. That's nothing to be ashamed of, and if you understand why your body is working the way it is, then there's nothing to worry about.

With all of these changes going on, maintaining good hygiene becomes very important to everyone during puberty. Showering regularly, using deodorant, changing clothes regularly, and overall paying attention to hygiene is a good habit to learn during this time.

Even though the physical changes are the most noticeable ones, there's also a lot going on inside the mind during puberty. This is because the brain is growing and maturing into that of an adult.

During puberty, you may have mood swings. Things like sudden sadness coming out of nowhere, anger without any real reason, crying more than usual, or feeling slightly aggressive are all pretty normal and happen to most teens, at least to some degree.

It's important to note that even though puberty can cause a wide range of emotions, all the emotions and actions of teenagers should not immediately be blamed on puberty. Things like self harm, suicidal thoughts, frequent thoughts or acts of violence, substance abuse, frequent panic attacks, and depressive episodes are not a normal part of puberty and may be the sign of an underlying mental illness. These issues should always be taken seriously, and the feelings of teenagers should never be invalidated just by the fact that they're going through puberty.

Since puberty is a time when people's bodies change and sex and gender become more important things, and most people become more aware of their biological sex, it can be a tough time for transgender people. Many people also begin to question their gender at this age.

If you're experiencing issues with your gender identity and want advice, it's good to have a trusted family member or friend who you can talk to about it. You can also contact us, or another online group to talk and get advice if you want.

Lastly, no matter what happens, there's no reason to feel ashamed about puberty. These changes are normal and they happen to everyone. They may feel confusing and take some time to get used to, but it's not the end of the world. And as I've already mentioned, if you ever feel confused about some part of puberty, it's good to have a trusted adult, like a parent or a school nurse who you can talk to and ask questions. They've gone through it too, they can help you.

Sources:

https://www.nhs.uk/live-well/sexual-health/stages-of-puberty-what-happens-to-boys-and-girls/

https://kidshealth.org/en/teens/puberty.html

https://kidshelpphone.ca/get-info/puberty-transitioning-other-important-things-know/

https://www.plannedparenthood.org/learn/teens/puberty

https://www.plannedparenthood.org/learn/teens/puberty/what-happens-during-puberty-if-im-intersex