Advice and Helpful Tips

4.5 Losing people.

Losing a person can mean many things. Often, it means losing a person by them dying. But this chapter is for other kinds of loss, and in the case of death, I recommend you go see our chapter on coping with grief.

Losing a person can also mean things like losing contact with a family member, ending a long friendship, breaking up with a romantic partner, or any other thing like that. And that's what this guide is for.

Do keep in mind that all people are different and these tips may not work for everyone.

Firstly, you need to give yourself time to think about it. Ignoring all thoughts about the person you lost is only going to make things harder. Let yourself think about them, the memories you've made together, and even the reason why you lost them. That will make it easier to let go.

Secondly, if you have any items, places, songs or other things that remind you of them, think about what feelings they give you. If seeing or hearing them makes you think about all the good memories you made together and about how great your relationship was, that's great! You can keep these things. However, if they remind you about how the relationship ended and makes you miss the person even more, you should do something about it. If you have objects that give you negative memories, consider giving or throwing them away or at least putting them somewhere where you can't see them. And if for example a particular song makes you think about it, maybe you should take a break from listening to said song.

Also, if you have an opportunity and feel like it would be a good idea, you could try burning any objects that give bad memories. Just make sure it's a controlled and safe fire, and that the items are safe to burn. If you're a minor, make sure to ask for your parent's permission before handling fire and burning things. When done correctly, this can be a great way to get rid of things for good.

Third, make sure to keep talking to other people and doing other things rather than just thinking about that person constantly. Healing takes time, yes, but it'll take longer if you stay fixated on the same thing.

Relationships can end for many reasons, such as arguments, changing interests, the other person moving away, or simply drifting apart over time. It's completely natural and happens all the time, but losing a person like this can still have a huge impact on your life. So don't feel bad for missing them. Sometimes losing a relationship will give you an opportunity to build new, interesting relationships. And sometimes relationships can be rebuilt after spending some time apart, too.

It's important to remember that it's completely normal for relationships to change and end. There's no need to force them to continue, and sometimes it's better to let relationships end if they just aren't working. But no matter how the relationship ends and what kind of relationship it was, it's also normal and okay to miss the person and feel sad about it.

You'll heal eventually, and make new relationships. No need to rush it or feel like you have to forget everything immediately.

Sources:
https://www.lifehack.org/606137/you-never-really-lose-a-friend-you-only-cut-meaningless-connections
https://medium.com/the-ascent/friendships-being-okay-with-losing-friends-7bb0d735f70d
https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/basics/relationships/end-relationships