Pretend.

Chapter one

James Potter has had a crush on Lily Evans since he realized girls are people too. She was very beautiful. She had long, wavy red hair and vibrant green eyes. James often dreamed about how their life together could look. They'd have a small wedding with their friends. Sirius would be his best man, and Lily would look stunning in her dress. He also often imagined how their son would look. He would look a lot like James, but he'd have Lily's eyes and a big part of Lily's personality. He'd have James resistance to books and homework though. But he'd have a great bushy-haired friend to help him with his homework. He'd also have a ginger friend (who would be his best friend) who would be kind of an idiot, but when he didn't think and just said something off-handedly, he would turn out to be a genius. All three of them would solve the mysteries Hogwarts had to offer together. Their lives would be great.

Those dreams were easily crushed by only 22 words (James had counted) which Lily said on a Saturday noon in September of their 6th year.

"Hey, friends, Marauders, people, erm, I, erm, I have to say something pretty important. Okay, here we go. I'm aromantic. And asexual." She said. Tears were streaming down her face and she was shaking. Mary ran over to her and started hugging her. Soon enough, Marlene joined in. Then Remus followed and in the end, the whole thing was just a big group hug.

-

In the evening, James was laying on his bed looking at the ceiling. The Marauders had shot him worrying looks all afternoon. They were very worried about him, which was logical, as they were his friends and it wasn't exactly a secret that he had a crush on Lily. I mean, he once wrote a whole ass song just to ask her out.
(Youre tall and fun and pretty
Youre really, really skinny
Lily
I'm the Mickey to your Minnie
Youre the Tigger to my Winnie
Lily
Wanna take you to the city
Gonna take you out to diney
Lily
Youre cuter than a guinea pig
Wanna take you up to Winnipeg
That's in Canada!)
[Song: Cho's song ~ Avpm]

But to be honest, he wasn't sad. He wasn't heartbroken. Lily's words hadn't hurt. Not a lot. Not as much as they should've. In fact, they had only hurt once he told himself that they should. Was his crush on Lily fake then? No. It wasn't. Or it hadn't been the first year at least. Maybe he had just been telling himself he had a crush on her this entire time and maybe he had only now realized that he had been wasting years and years of his life for a crush that WASN'T EVEN FUCKING REAL. MAYBE JAMES FLEAMONT POTTER WAS JUST AN IDIOT AND MAYBE HE WAS SO STUPID THAT HE COULDN'T EVEN REALIZE THAT HE DIDN'T HAVE A CRUSH ON A GIRL ANYMORE FOR YEARS.

James was getting angrier and angrier, and he could feel himself losing control over his actions as his anger took over. He wished he hadn't put a silencing charm on the bed and locking charm on the curtains. He wanted to punch someone really badly. But there was no one around, and he couldn't think clear enough to undo the locking spell to go and punch Sirius. At least then Moony would be able to calm him down slightly. Now he was punching his pillow. Eventually, he got tired of that, and he started jumping on his bed. Not in a happy kind of way. During these attacks, there was no room for any emotions that weren't angry. His arms were flailing around, and he was hitting the ceiling of his bed occasionally. He knew his arms would hurt later, but he didn't care, he needed to get his anger out and that meant that there was no room for logical thinking whatsoever.

A/n
I hope you will enjoy this story. I hope I did not offend anyone by the way I portrayed James' anger problems. One of my friends has them as well, and I used what they said their experience was as a guideline. Ofc it's not exactly as they describe it, but I hope it's at least realistic.
X X X
Luka.
(733 words)