Pretend.

chapter three

After breakfast, James went back to his dorm room. He didn't have any homework left, since Remus had forced him to do his homework first thing Saturday morning. The Gryffindor common room was quiet, which wasn't weird knowing that it was 7 in the morning, and all Gryffindors were either seeping or cursing their one morning-person-friend for waking them up. He went up to his dorm to take his 'Quidditch Through The Ages book' and was surprised to walk in on Remus on his way upstairs.

"Hey, James, could I talk to you for a minute please?" Remus said while James said "Sorry Moony. Good morning."

The 2 looked at each other for a second and then started talking in unison again. "No problem Prongs. Good Morning to you too, but can I talk to you?" Remus said while James said "oh, erm, no I was actually going upstairs to grab my potions book. I've got an assignment."

"You first," Remus said to avoid them talking in unison again.

"Oh, well, I was going upstairs to grab my potions book. I've got an assignment."

"No, you don't. We're in the same class. We have the same homework. And even if we did have an assignment, you finished all of your homework yesterday." Remus said. "I know something's up. I-" Remus sighed. "I can smell it." Remus had always had had trouble talking about his extra abilities as a werewolf, and would only talk about it to convince someone to do something Remus thought was really important. "I get that you're not keen on telling Peter and Sirius, but I can keep a secret. Even from Sirius. And you're one of my best friends, I hate seeing you like this without being able to help."

Remus looked at James with his eyes filled with worry. "Please, James, talk to me. I know you had a tantrum yesterday. I wanna help."

"Fine."

The 2 boys went upstairs to take the Marauder's Map and the invisibility cloak, just in case. They went to the Room Of Requirement, which James had discovered last year. They hadn't added it to the Map yet, and they didn't really felt the need to.

The room looked a lot like the Gryffindor common room, only smaller. There was a fireplace, and 2 big red chairs, which looked very comfortable. Both boys took a seat, and James looked at Remus expectingly. He wasn't going to be the first to take the word, but he was absolutely terrified of what Remus would ask. He shared all of his secrets with his friends, once he had worked them out himself. And he wasn't sure of what he felt himself yet, so he was not ready to share his feelings with the Marauders.

"James?" Remus said. James realized he had been looking at the floor, and looked up. "Why did you have a tantrum last night?"

"I- I don't know."

"That's a lie and you know it."

"I don't know if I had a crush on Lily."

"What?"

"You heard me."

"Why do you think that Prongs?"

"Because it didn't hurt. I know perfectly well that she isn't romantically interested in anyone, and she never will be. I'm completely fine with that. I'm happy for her. At least she knows herself. I don't recognize myself anymore. I look in the mirror and I see someone else. I once was a stupid, happy, lovesick boy, or at least I thought I was. I don't know when I started lying to myself. How are you supposed to trust me when I can't even trust myself? I'm lying to myself, and I don't know what's a lie and what's the truth. I'm pretending to be in love, but not to be hurt. I just have to pretend I'm fine. I have to pretend to trust myself. But I'm no actor." James said. Tears were streaming down his face as he told Remus how he really felt. Remus went over to James and started hugging him tightly. After a while, James calmed down.

"Hey, Prongs, I'm glad you told me. I'll help you, okay?"

"Thanks, moony."

-

It was Monday, and after sleeping in too long, missing breakfast, having to run all the way back to the Gryffindor tower, realizing he had picked up the wrong books, and running upstairs again. James potter was rushing downstairs again, with his right books in his hands. Today, was a bad day.

He was rushing to Potions class, praying that he wouldn't be too late. Suddenly, he ran into someone, and both their books lay scattered on the floor. "Dammit, Potter. You'll pay for this." It was Regulus Black, Sirius' little brother. Great, today really was a bad day. He went to pick up his books, muttered a quick excuse to the new Black heir, and ran to potions, to which he was obviously late.

"Ahh Potter, I was wondering where you were. 5 points from Gryffindor for being late. As I was saying before you arrived, in the next few weeks, we will be learning about the Amortentia potion, the most powerful love potion. Today you will be answering some questions. I've written them on the chalkboard. You will do this in pairs. And no, you don't get to chose." Slughorn said. He looked down at a paper on his desk, and started saying the names of the pairs. James was hoping for Peter, Lily, or Remus because then he wouldn't have to do anything more than copy their work. Too bad for him, cuz he got paired with Mary. She was a nice girl, but she was not good at potions. He walked over to her desk, and they started copying the questions.

1. What does the Amortentia in front of you look like?

2. What does Amortentia smell like in theory?

3. What does it smell like for you?

4. What does it smell like for your partner?

5. What would the effects be if you were to take this potion?

6. Is Amortentia the only potion with this type of outcome?

A/n
Can you tell I love Remus?
Also, I'm sorry for using the Amortentia clishé. But Harry learned about this potion in his 6ht year too, so I thought it'd fit.