ᴛᴡᴇʟᴠᴇ; ᴀᴛᴇʟᴏᴘʜᴏʙɪᴀ

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atelophobia 

(noun

the fear of imperfection or not being good enough 


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EVERETT TUGS on her usual sneakers, sitting on the bench in the resident's locker room beside Jackson talking about their run-in that morning with Lexie in the bathroom when they'd all been almost naked and running late for work. Out of the corner of her eye, she notices Chief Webber walk in, a cardboard cup of coffee in one hand that makes her mouth fill with saliva. She really needs coffee this morning. Like, really needs it.

"I have great faith in you," Webber calls out when most of them have noticed his appearance in their locker room, rushing to make space for him to stand out. "I can because I chose you. I trained you. I've watched you work. I know what you can do. That's why today is different. The training wheels are coming off, people." He starts to hand out what has been hidden in the box at the front of the locker room to the fourth-years.

Everett catches sight of navy as he hands them the fabric.

"Navy scrubs?" she asks, mouth falling open when the neatly folded scrubs land on her lap.

"Attending scrubs."

Today she's going to be an Attending. She's going to take the main stage in dark blue scrubs. She's had her rest day, now it is time to create the world one large step at a time; he wants her to bend the heavens and the earth, then she'll go to any lengths to do so. She'll pull oceans apart. She'll make tsunamis out of mere raindrops.

Chief Webber is giving her Attending scrubs. He is giving her the last pulse of air that she needs to become the mystified creator, to make humans out of rib cages and animals out of spite, to hone the craft of fabrication until all she has is a world that she has created and inhibitors who fall.

These scrubs make her God.

"You are Attendings, today. Run the cases, take point, but don't be a fool. If you get in over your head, cry uncle. Until then, congratulations. You've just been promoted."

Beside her, Jackson lets out a low chuckle and elbows her gently to grab her attention. Everett slowly lifts her head from the navy scrubs, fingers trailing over the waistband of the pants sitting on her lap. Jackson is grinning from ear-to-ear. This is the moment they've all been waiting for, their first ever time in Attending scrubs.

The spotlight shines on them today.

She can't stop herself from grinning back.

"Attendings, huh?" April says, coming up behind them. She's already got her navy scrub top on over her light pink long-sleeve, a huge smile on her face that crinkles up the edges around her eyes until her baby-blue eyes are hidden behind thick eyelashes.

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