He Wants, She Wants, What Do I Want? ('We Can't' Series Pt 3)

Come Walk With Me!

Bella

I was both excited but scared, my mind was not somewhere I ever expected to allow other people into, especially since I knew it was shielded by me for exactly that reason. Charlie laughingly told me to embrace my inner Renee, that I had to be open to the possibility that anything could happen if I wanted it too. So it was decided that Jasper would put me to sleep rather than me being drugged and then the ritual would be performed by Old Quill, allowing both him and Seth as his wolf to enter my dream state. I was told to think about a safe place that I would allow them to be in and try to hold on to it, but also to envision my own mind, how I would store my memories and information, as I was being put asleep by Jasper.

The desert scene before me was most definitely Arizona, the colours and hues that could only be found there soothed me as I sat staring out at the vista, around me were boxes of all shapes and sizes, each labelled with either a name or a place and some were even emotions. Directly behind me was the largest box, which I was leaning against, then they ranged out getting smaller and smaller, nothing was directly in front of me and I could see on the horizon two figures approaching, one man and one wolf. As I waited for them to arrive I glanced left and then right to see three more largish boxes, two on the left, one on the right, labelled Garrett, Charlie and Renee.

The boxes glowed and pulsed, Garrett's sparkled, Charlie's was the colour of his uniform, but Renee's it changed constantly, never settling for a moment just like her. But it was the shapes that amused me, Charlie's was his Cruiser, Garrett's was a soldier's kit bag, Renee's a Rubix cube, that confused me momentarily until I realised it was meant to represent the many permutations that made my mother who she was. I could see Carlisle's doctor's bag, Phil's baseball catcher's mitt, Alice's crystal ball, Edward's thought bubble and they all represented the owner well.

I peeked in a few as my two visitors came closer. I saw a little mud pie off to one side and knew this had been Jake the boy I once saw as a good friend. As I stood I realised the box I was leaning on was actually clear, but it was around me, I wasn't leaning on it I was in it, this had to be my shield. As the two reached me the wolf rubbed up against me, but rather than enter my box it just adjusted its self to fit closer to my body, becoming fluid. Old Quill nodded and bid me sit once more, he asked about several of the boxes and I explained who they represented, pointing to one way in the back that was a little Shaman hut I'd seen in a movie once, he nodded understanding this was him.

He said he could see my shield around me and that it was the only thing that appeared to not have a box of its own and he suggested I shape one for it, I told him I was originally in it and it was box-shaped.

"Let it go, Isabella, you control it not it controlling you, put it in its box and free your mind," he told me,

I thought hard and an old fashioned shield flickered in front of me but disappeared quickly. We talked for some time about irrelevant things before he once again told me to put away the shield.

"It is not a solid object like the box Isabella, it is liquid, therefore pour it into your new box!" This time, the box stayed before me and I saw the shimmer as it poured from around me into the box, I felt naked for a moment, then realised that a tiny veil-like object was around the upper part of my head. Old Quill laughed quietly but nodded saying

"You will not allow yourself to ever be unprotected and that's alright, now put your hand in the box, feel the shield, manipulate it"

I felt almost silly as I pulled and stretched my shield, then squeezed it into a tiny ball, it was like playing with a soap bubble that couldn't burst.

"Now I want you to cover the box that represents your father, Seth will tell us if those watching over us see or feel a difference!" the shaman told me and I scooped it out of the box throwing over Charlie's cruiser, moments later Seth lifted his head and nodded,